Author Archive

Get Over Yourself

  Well, I’ve heard it all now. A recent article in a women’s magazine highlighted the fact that a female reader dumped an otherwise charismatic and charming young man, purely because he used icons in his text messages. And the feature wasn’t even taking the mick out of her ridiculously high expectations – it was [...]

Phoenix Cosmetics at New Zealand Fashion Week

Annoyingly it was raining outdoors and the wind had already whipped my previously well-styled hair into a limp, greasy mess. Fortunately, the indoor show at Auckland’s massive Events Centre for Phoenix Cosmetics provided enough rainbow-coloured catwalk action to brighten everyone’s day.   Sampling four sets, the show began with some hip-hop breakdancing and a runway [...]

Accepting The Relationship Rut

The biggest problem about living 50-metres away from a bar, is that, similar to a moth to a flame, my boyfriend is attracted to the scent of a beer keg.  He finishes work at midnight, rolls into the bar for 1am, stumbles out at three and wakes me up five minutes later with a burp. [...]

Lost In Topshop Translation

It’s fifteen degrees outside and it’s the middle of winter. As if living in New Zealand wasn’t good already, my friend recently informed me there is a Topshop just ten minutes down the road. Why would one ever want to leave such a place!?   Said friend has a car so one, fine Saturday (did [...]

I Certainly Do Not

Ask me if I’d like to wear a beautiful white dress, throw a huge party and own a diamond ring, and I’d probably say yes to all three. Ask me if I’d like to be somebody’s wife and it’s an unequivocal no.   I am not interested in marriage, never have been. I have never [...]

Is Communication Overload Ruining Our Relationships?

Isn’t it remarkable that I can Skype my parents who are 12,000 miles away and living ten hours in the past, and yet I am incapable of communicating even the simplest of things to my boyfriend? Last week for example, I was tired and hormonal and in general on the warpath, so I picked a [...]

Why The Satchel Stands The Test Of Time

As a five year old I was most definitely the most fashionable gal in my primary school. Unfortunately, the other kids didn’t agree so they picked on me. They didn’t quite ‘get’ my bizarre ensemble of red Kickers boots, granddad spectacles and old-fashioned school-boy satchel. Fast forward twenty years and I could wear that same [...]

The Three Commandments of Office Attire

I’ve worked in two offices. Which by my own authority permits me with the right to give advice regarding Monday-Friday office attire.   Throughout my many years working at two offices (which accumulate to a grand total of 2.5 years behind a desk) I have deduced the rules of office SHT. I’m not being rude, [...]

When To Keep Your Mouth Shut

I greatly insulted my boyfriend yesterday. Rightly so I suspect. It was Facebook yet again, which may be one of the 21st century’s most evil inventions; turning women across the globe into crazed, photo-obsessed stalker-holics.   It was mid-stalk that an image of my ex-boyfriend popped up with a new girl in his profile picture. A [...]

Changing Room Interference

With trepidation and a heightened sense of adrenalin, I cautiously entered the store, lured by ‘Sales’ signs and the promise of ten-dollar dresses. She was there. Prowling the perimeter of the changing room with a Grinch’s smile and poised for attack. I would have to be careful to avoid her… the dreaded over-bearing shop assistant. [...]

Goldilocks And The Three Ages Of Man

In relationships, past and present, I have often felt like that little girl Goldilocks who enters the three bears’ house and has to sample certain things until she finds the one that’s ‘juuuuuuust right’. Although in my opinion she was far too easily pleased. Porridge? Come on! She should’ve been looking for Coco Pops at least.  [...]

Mullet-Dress A-No-Go

Greetings from Auckland-where I’m now based, unemployed and feeling hopeless, and therefore attached to my netbook, writing various facetious articles for LoveScene Magazine.   Right now as I bask in the 30-degree sun (cue an ever-so-slightly smug laugh), there’s an article sitting beside me from NZ women’s magazine Cleo debating the trend of the mullet [...]

When Bad Interviews Happen To Good People

For some, and for some jobs in particular, what one decides to wear for an interview, is as important as how well you manage to answer the questions asked. For example, back in the day when I was an overly optimistic university graduate with a relatively promising future, I secured an interview with Vogue and [...]

Fashion Pet Peeve #1

My number one fashion-peeve of the moment has got to be geek-chic glasses, worn by the kind of people who no doubt ripped me for wearing real glasses as an awkward, pre-pubescent child. How charmed I am that such folk are wearing five-quid fake specs that I have to pay an annual fortune NOT to [...]

Liverpool Fashion Week 2011

Tuesday 18th October was the opening night for Liverpool Fashion Week 2011 for the third year running. It promised to be an evening brimming with city-style, urban glamour, false lashes and fashion-hungry celebs. LoveScene sent me on a very covert operation to suss out the fashion frocks and hot new designers. Here is my fashion-spy report, [...]

The Swinging Sixties Are Unfortunately Still Swinging

Last week we all heard the saddening news of Steve Jobs’ demise; a man who almost single-handedly revolutionised the world of technology. Who hasn’t heard of the iPhone? Or marvelled at people on trains with iPads? I personally have never felt cooler than the first time I bought an iPod, even though I only had [...]

The Four Laws of Leopard Print

Seasons come and go, trends peak and expire but leopard print remains a perennial favourite on the fashion circuit – it’s like the cockroach of the post apocalyptic fashion-kingdom; it cannot and will not be defeated. Here are some fool-proof tips to wear your spots with pride:   Avoid frumpy fabrics There’s a reason the [...]

The Demise of the Cleavage

  It seems the cleavage has gone the same way as the ill-fated peek-a-boo thong; sentenced to an eternity in bad-taste heaven where all the fashion faux-pas of the nineties reside.     The new season for Autumn 2011 is all about high-neck blouses and elegant masculine cuts where the idea of curves is presented, [...]

Five Fashion Musts For Frosty Winters

The five essential winter items for 2011 are as follows:     1. Coat The problem with winter is that any clothes you do wear, other than a coat, are a complete waste of money. There is nothing more irritating than putting on the best outfit of your life – knowing you have just dressed [...]

Fashion Traumas

They say the international growth of the World Wide Web has resulted in an increase of online shopping. In reality it’s not that at all, it’s actually because real-life shopping has become such a wholly traumatic experience, no one dares do it any more.   I even find approaching the changing room an ordeal because intimidating shop [...]