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Tom Cruise Would Be The Ideal Man To Advertise Bags Of Sick To The Public

Well, if anyone would’ve told you that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes were to divorce you’d… well, you wouldn’t be too surprised would you? It’s like putting eggs and bacon in a blender and telling people it’s breakfast; it’s just not going to work. Unless you’re a pug or a seagull, but they’re useless, seeing [...]

The ‘have it all’ woman is probably just as lonely and fictitious as Ms. Havisham

Besides controlling our calorie intake and deciding on which humble bachelor we are to stumble down the aisle with, it seems that ‘having it all’ is just another item to add to the list of fates we women can only hope to master in our lives.   In the 50s, to ‘have it all’ would’ve [...]

Can You Be In Love Without Being Obsessive?

It’s not every woman that can blissfully proclaim, ‘Yes, I am in love’ and be done with it, no lovey-dovey Facebook wall-to-wall messages, no unbearable PDAs and no damned compulsory boyfriend-related word vomit that seems to accompany every loved-up girl’s mouth when the dreaded L-word rears its head.   In all honesty, I find love [...]

We’ll always go for d**kheads, it’s the cycle of life

When you consider the two words ‘celebrity couple’ you can’t help but immediately roll your eyes, absent-mindedly turning the pages in your magazine, saying ‘yeah, I give it two weeks after the reality show lapses’. Well, we do have enough ammunition to say so… think Kim and Kris, Britney and Jason Alexander, Dennis Rodman and [...]

When Did Journalism Become A Job For The Everyman?

  Well, this is a little awkward, me taking the Stephen Hawking at new ITV show The Exclusives, a show about journalists, something I hoped I could properly get my teeth stuck into and be really quite positive about. But also, as always, I’m going to moan.   ITV’s latest attempt at the ‘young, aspiring [...]

Can We Replace Simon Cowell With A Sock Puppet Yet?

Simon Cowell, he even applauds patronisingly. And thankfully we’re spared of his haircut and monstrous chest for a good couple of months, now this year’s Britain’s Got Talent has come to a close.   At the beginning of the series it seemed to be a little underwhelming, considering the repeated usage of Alesha Dixon’s all-time [...]

Simon and Dannii’s Hidden Romance Revealed… OOH-AHHHH

Outside it’s dark, it’s dingy, the heatwave has tumbled away, huffing and puffing, tail between its legs and well, everything is just a little bit bland. The passing traffic looks exhausted and the birds can’t even be arsed to chirp anymore. What we need is some excitement. And, like in every other situation, what we [...]

How a Hum-Ha Bloke Made You Weak At The Knees

It’s easy to be complacent, going through the motions, saying ‘yes’ and ‘no’ to things, ‘this will do, that won’t do’. We do it all the time; on those dank Friday evenings when the buses are all late you say ‘oh, go on’ to a taxi and knock your arm up. In the middle of [...]

Madame Tussaud and Selena Gomez Butt Waxy Foreheads

If I was Selena Gomez I think I’d be one of the most troubled girls in all of Toy Town (the Disney star realm), not only because I’d be lumped with one of the most feminised boys in all of Sponge City (the pop stars’ dominion) but because Madame Tussaud singlehandedly just crumbled soot in [...]

TULISA’S SEX TAPE SHOCKER: A Genuine Apology

So, you’re eating a cake, a good cake, and someone tells you it’s high in fat and sugar and, unfortunately, is very bad for you. Understandable, surely? Everyone knows the word ‘cake’ alone connotes lip-smacking fret and worry twenty seconds after cleaning your lips, whilst reaching for the second slice. And this is effectively the [...]

The Tale of The Arrogant Hashtag

I don’t know, is it wrong for me to stop caring about the mass majority of celebrities? Maybe it’s something in the water, or something I ate last night. But really, my caring has literally diminished to the point of me being more concerned about my window-cleaner and his filthy tea-bag-looking fingernails than indulging myself [...]

More of a Steve Brookstein than a Britney

It actually hurts me to draw even more attention to the leech that is literally sucking the life out of the word ‘celebrity’, but Kerry Katona has to be the worst person in the world. For years I’ve been finding it difficult to come to terms with how people still care about whatever she has [...]

Amy Childs ‘Tortured’ by Fame

Amy Childs’ depressing tales of the trials and tribulations of fame: Chapter One   Fame wouldn’t be fame if it wasn’t curdled by those in the spotlight complaining about all of those ‘little people’ ruining their expectations of fame and being, well, just plain mean. How cruel of us not to bask in another being, [...]

How Victoria Beckham Was Made, Hated and Slated

I think I’m in deep girl-lust for Victoria Beckham, so much it actually hurts. She has everything anybody could ever ask for: the stupidly gorgeous footballer husband, the stupidly successful girl-band career, the stupidly slick fashion line, the money, the fame, the perfect family, so it seems no wonder she gets her fair share of [...]

Another Blue Valentine’s Day

So, in the world of post-apocalyptic Valentine’s days, the big red balloons come down from shop windows, people stop complaining about being single and the love that was in the air is preserved in a tightly-sealed vacuum until next year. This may sound morose, but this is the only way I see it. I’ve even [...]

Is the Rise and Rise of Young Stars Getting Out of Hand?

We now live in a world where the names ‘One Direction’ and ‘Justin Bieber’ have become commodities, with the singers’ surges of adoring fans taking up the entire Twittersphere and solidifying their omnipresence in society. Flick on the telly-box and you’ll see eleven year-old Willow Smith gyrating, log onto Youtube and you’ll find Justin Bieber’s [...]

Could Tulisa Be The New Enid Blyton?

There’s always going to be scepticism when a celebrity announces that they’re going to play author and craft their own novel with ‘hands of inexperience’. Doubters happily go out of their way to discourage the star with harsh comments, outwardly exhibiting a lack of hope in their ability, demanding that they stick to their trade, [...]

Deschanel Dubbed ‘Most Desirable’ In Recent Lads’ Poll

Here’s a humbling message to all girls in a relationship: don’t fret if your man pins up a new raunchy poster of a sizzling starlet, because it seems that implied sexiness is now indubitably reigning supreme.   Just recently, Zooey Deschanel, the ‘New Girl’, quirky love interest in 500 Days of Summer and the shy apple [...]

How To Lose a Guy in Two Dates

A fresh new interest. After being single for a while, you come across a man that ticks all the right boxes, and he seems to be showing an interest in you too – not something that comes around every day! And what’s more, he’s come to you at the right time, and nothing seems to [...]

Life After Reality Shows – Lauren Conrad, Kristen Cavallari and More

The box set may still be packed away, waiting for one of those rainy days; for those bad times where gorgeous weather, bellissima handbags, and people so beautiful it hurts, are being craved like the last box of cookies, but The Hills stars very much have their foot on the pedal – even if not [...]