LoveScene Magazine » Serena-Louise

Nabbing your man

Serena-Louise — Mon, 31 Dec 2012 22:35:43 +0000

Attracting a man can be the most difficult challenge a woman can face – especially if that man isn’t interested. Some give up and say “Why bother?” but some just pull out every trick to capture their fancy man.

How far would you go to nab your fancy man?

The question we all begin with is: How do we do it? Well naturally, the first female thought is to make him jealous, it’s a trick women have used for the last ten years. In the hope that seeing you with another man, preferably a nicer looking one, will instantly make him come back to stake a claim.

Although, when does that ever work, unless the guy considers it sweet, which in most cases doesn’t happen. Actually it makes us all look a little desperate, but hey if it works and the shoe fits because your at rock bottom, anything will do.

The first level of attraction is when you meet them from the first time, exchanging smiles, talking and laughing, to a woman humour is a huge deal and of course guys, you’re jokes must be funny before we laugh at them. Some men are shy, whilst others will ask for your number before he knows your name – ever watched Geordie Shore? You’ll know what I mean if you do.

The second level, if you know this person, such as you work with him then the two main aspects of this attraction boils down to: Familiarity and proximity. Combine these and those rogue butterflies in your stomach with flap fast with excitement. Of course we all get shy around the guy we like, we can’t help it – it’s their fault for being to cute.

The final and biggest level must be that you have to flirt. Flirt your butt off. Why I hear you ask? Because if he does it back then you’ll know whether or not he’s interested, especially if you start cracking the sexual innuendo jokes. Get them flowing, flutter your eyelashes and dress to impress, and if he’s one of those incredibly shy guys, offer to buy him a drink to kick things into motion.

My first kiss went a little like this…

Serena-Louise — Sun, 26 Aug 2012 14:14:47 +0000

My mother has always said that we have to “kiss a lot of frogs before we our prince” just how true is this?

We’ve all heard to stories about the magic from the first kiss from your one true love, thing is you may be waiting a long time to find it. Is the magic of the first kiss real?

My first ever kiss as a teenager was nothing but bland. All the expectation of it being one of the best moments in a girls life meant that it unfortunatley didn’t come up to scratch. If anything it was just a kiss, just that. Nothing to add, nothing to report. My lips touched someone else’s and felt the same as my favourite kissing partner – the back of my hand, except maybe my hand was a little better.

So why do we expect a glorious rush of passion and love and lust from just a very minor display of affection? Does this spark really come out of it’s shell when you find him, or do we just enjoy the fact we are snogging the guy we’ve fantasized about for the last month?

The only spark a kiss generates is that it’s the opening of the flood gates to a serious night of love-making. One kiss leads to a French kiss which leads to second base and so on. That is the beginning of love, all kicked off by a sweet kiss.

Is that the spark we are all on about? The fact a kiss will give you more in terms of a physical partner?

If so why do we teach our children the magic of this spark? The tales of Disney princessess frinding their knight in shining armour and his sweet kiss exploding like fireworks – when really the spark means a stumble into a bedroom and the quick unbuttoning of a shirt or two.

Thing is the “kiss” means a lot. Kiss the wrong person and you may have trouble getting them off your case, while if you kiss the right person, you may not get where you want to be. How do you even refuse a kiss? “Sorry no, just not with you?” Uh-uh. No. If your date is leaning in and practically on a bended knee begging you how can you squash him like a bug with a bitter rejection?

You can’t without feeling bad about yourself or about the fact you are ruining a fairly pleasant evening.

To incurable romantics, the kiss is the first step which ignies the fire, the love, the passion and desire to the man who holds them in their arms. When this idea is nice, it’s not really ideal standing waiting for a bus…

Some people don’t like kissing. I happen to be one of those people – unless of course they are seriously amazingly good looking and have completely swept me up and know exactly what they’re doing. I’ve ever been comfortable with it. Yes it’s all nice and sweet once or twice in a row but when it goes on and on and on it becomes uncomfortable and much to their distaste I just have to pull away. So my kiss initiates no spark at all. Therefore hardly any interest.

Don’t get me wrong I would adore my own Christian Grey – then I wouldn’t stop. But until then I don’t think kissing will ever be one of my favourite activities unless I truly completely utterly desire it from a man.

The Dating Game

Serena-Louise — Fri, 10 Aug 2012 07:30:28 +0000

Why is it that people start relationships without a first date?

My past two relationships have begun with nothing but the question which immediately puts you into a relationship, not being given the option to even get to know the person. So when we are young why do first dates seem absent?

Are real dates reserved for those in their twenties and thirties? Where you can go dancing and have a three course meal in a fancy restaurant and sip wine by candle light. Is it this image which teenagers shy away from, that we don’t seem adequate for that scenario?

Why can’t we join in with the adults and have sophisticated first dates, if we even get one?

The thing is, teenage dates are less formal so I’d relish the fun of sitting across from someone in a quaint restaurant enjoying their latest story of the sudden events in the stock market – because they have a real job not a weekend pay in a local Asda’s. Is it the money or the lack of experiance which separates the adult from the teen dates?

A low income can cause a date to suffer. The less of the money the less fun and general interest . So do we know what to expect in our dates depending on our age?

My first dating experiance was typically teenaged, dinner in a local pizzeria and movie with an age restriction. The fact of the matter was that the date was seriously lacking any quality time which helped us to get to know each other. Do we need the face-to-face time to understand someone or can we get to know them while they hurl a bowling ball down a lane?

Truth is the face-to-face time helps you also find out if you really like the guy. You are, after all, staring at them for a couple of hours and forced to talk about stuff you never really bothered with before. But it’s this information which helps you get to grips with someone. So if this information is repetitive and the converations rarely go beyond specific topics, e.g. work, then is there much to go on?

The myth of the spark at the first kiss seems to get our hopes up but half the time we don’t want the guy to even get that close to us. So how can you tell that one person that the date just wasn’t enough and basically you’re not interested?

While if the kiss is good should more happen? What are the rules for the first date with someone you really like? Everyone has a boundary some don’t even kiss while others haven’t let the sheets cool down from the past date before the new one hops in. Is sex on the first date a no-go?

Sex on the first date can make you seem too eager or worse – too easy. However, if you’re on a date with someone you know well and maybe for a while, is sex on the cards a positive thing? How can we judge the boundary when we aren’t even sure of it ourselves, do we go with the flow or stick to our guns we made before they even picked us up?

The first date is always tricky and mostly dull if you’re on a pity date or have been backed into one by a friend. So what happens afterwards if you work or live close to the guy and you didn’t enjoy his company. Worst thing to happen is if everybody knew, you would be seen as a bitch for dumping the guy who liked you when really there was just no spark or interest there. You’ll get no sympathy or a pat on the back for actually speaking your mind and saying no rather than beginning a new relationship and leading him on.

How do you even say it? “I’m sorry this isn’t going to work?”; this is the oldest line in the book and not even “it’s not you it’s me” can save you. Truth is we are just scared to feel like the bad guy in the awkward moment when he is searching for a full blown snog and you’ve already got your door key at hand in the car.

So when it comes to dates, going can sometimes be worse than not being asked at all. We cannot win with or without them.

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Unlike Most Single Girls

Serena-Louise — Thu, 02 Aug 2012 07:30:58 +0000

Unlike most single teenage girls, my Friday night partner included a good movie and a take-out box. The party scene being only a few miles away just isn’t appealing – throwing up in gutters after only a handful of cocktails.

Being “unsocial” has been claimed as a crime when it comes to teenagers – which a night in with a girlfriend or a Chinese deserves jail time. I would have a life sentence. I was the reason for being single. Most teenaged girls chanced their nights with anyone if it included good sex and a free drink, but my lifestyle choices are stuck behind bars.

So when it comes to my relationships, is it okay to be different?

Of course not falling upstairs in five-inch Jimmy Choo heels is always possible but making the effort should be necessary. It’s the effort I lacked even when I knew it had good intentions ie a free drink and a phone number and possibly a date.

Dating was not my favourite activity – the idea of being with someone was far more desirable than actually doing it. So why is it that us girls dream of having a partner but dislike actually getting one? I think the daydream of the relationship runs more smoothly than one in reality ever could. You would always have your way and he would take the rap for everything, you would have fabulous dates in high class restaurants and have amazing sex to polish the night off.

There would be no if’s ands or but’s just plain sailing from North to South and you’d just enjoy the ride.

Is it these ideas of self indulgence of romance that kills our expectations? Are we failing before we even start? The self nourished idea of you and he in your mind will differ incredibly between reality and your fantasy. So would you dump him on the street after he didn’t say what you dreamt he would say or kissed you where you wanted? How far would your fantasy stretch before your love life ended because men aren’t mind readers?

Men don’t know what their doing themselves, playing their game by their own rules like Vegas Blackjack dealers. All the while women try to ruffle their cards and earn their chips. So are we better off with reality or can we survive better in our fantasies?

The truth of it is that we will always indulge in our fantasies but those alone with see you on a sofa bed watching Marley and Me with a good Chinese with tissues on the floor. Your reality will keep you from crying alone. So why do we let ourselves cry alone with Owen Wilson?

“Men are so much nicer in my mind – my mental boyfriend is nothing like my real boyfriend”

“We all want men like on TV – hot, sexy and confident but we’ll never get anything that good.”

Why do we feel the need to dream our date rather than live it? Are we afraid of what might happen or worse are we afraid to even try?

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