Author Archive

How do you spell love? T-R-U-S-T

Trust.  A little word with so much power.  Having had your trust betrayed and abused, how do you ever move on from that, and be happy in another relationship?  And does that clarity equal intelligent self-preservation, or self-sabotage? Anyone who’s ever been hurt can relate to nerves and anxiety that accompany the start of something [...]

I want to believe in love again

When an animal is injured it hides away to lick its wounds and recover. The difference is, unless mortally wounded an animal will come back into the world. Many humans don’t. When you get played, you can’t help but look back, analyse and overthink. How did I read him so wrongly? How did I misread [...]

The great first date

So you’ve agreed to meet up with a guy you’ve been emailing through a dating site. Up until the date itself there’s no real pressure. It’s just 2 people communicating electronically with no idea of whether or not they will actually get on. Then the day comes, as does the realisation your jeans are baggier [...]

Acceptance + freedom = happiness

The moment you realise you are completely free of all feeling toward your ex is an amazing moment. After splitting most people realise their ex wasn’t right for them, but still hurt when they dwell on it. The broken plans, broken home, feeling of having to start over – again. Although you stopped your rose-tinted [...]

Nissen’s Dating Rules

  I’ve not had the most sparkling, sizzling, smooch-filled, sociable, spine-tingling of summers. But it was what it was, and as much as I love hot weather, the calm dependability of autumn will be refreshing. I don’t expect to spend my autumn with anyone. I’ve come to understand, at a bone-marrow level, that Mr Mindfuck [...]

Trying to move on…

Tonight I have a hangover.  Not alcohol-related, but just as annoying, just as ‘poor me’ inducing and just as difficult to shake off. But my hangover is my bastard ex. The sad thing is, I never really knew him. And so anything he does now is no surprise, because I have absolutely no idea what [...]

Would you, ummm…..

… Make me come? Whether getting back in the saddle after years, or weeks, getting pelvic with a new person is always a nerve-wracking experience, hence the amount of alcohol often consumed. I’m not talking about holiday romances or hazy hook-ups, but about new sex with someone you think ‘maybe….’ about. I could fill a [...]

To (f)B or not to (f)B…..

 is the question.  Or more specifically, how soon is too soon to FB? One of my beautiful friends recently asked me this, and I found I had no answer. Very unlike me. But it’s a good question, due to both security and the speed of openness in any budding relationship. We know that we should [...]

Broken wings = broken heartstrings?

“Beautiful mind, tortured soul.  I do have to figure out why I am attracted to these broken birds”.   So said the amazing Katy Perry in last month’s Vogue.  Preaching to the choir sister; I too am asking myself this.  After 3 attempts at relationships with issue-ridden overgrown man-child(ren), I’m wondering why I keep going for [...]


It’s amazing, the things you miss. The little red 1 on your Facebook page, your phone lighting up multiple times during the day with another sweet nothing text, the photo of you two that fills the screen when he calls. It’s also amazing when you realise that you don’t actually mis HIM. The break-up break-through [...]

SATC – the ultimate relationship manual

I’m distracting myself from my collapsed world by watching SATC 2 – the movie.  Despite the stereotypes of the Middle East and the underdevelopment of Samantha and Miranda’s characters, it’s not a bad film.  A disappointment in the cinema after waiting for it excitedly, but a nice dash of colourful escapism to push back the [...]

The greatest love story of all time

The ‘great’ love stories are those which live on in literature and popular culture – Anthony and Cleopatra, Romeo and Juliet, Aladdin and Jasmine.  What about the real great love stories, the ones that don’t end in tragedy or happily ever after?  The ones where, at the end of the party, the music stops and [...]

The first cut is the deepest

There are 5 words I hate.  “What are we doing here?” or its closely related cousin, “What do you want from me?” They put all the pressure on me to make the decision.  And make me want to respond in my sassiest tone, “If you don’t know, how can I answer that definitively?!  ‘We’ applies [...]

Determined or demanding?

Everyone is unique, everyone is individual. Everyone has little quirks and habits which are annoying to others.  There are some things which are an absolute deal breaker for me. The guy who grunts when aroused, the guy with the weird knuckles, the guy who is punctually challenged, the guy who is vertically challenged, the guy [...]

Great Expectations

I had 4 dates lined up last weekend. Exhausted and emotionally confused, I cancelled. 3 of them still want to see me!  I have no idea why.  But it has got me thinking….  And I think that it is a case of great expectations.   Mine tend to be low before a date.  Sure, he sounds [...]

Dating survival skills

My experiences of this minefield known as dating have given me some pretty good insights into myself, men, and how the game has changed since our parents got together. In as much as I like to respect individuality and give men a chance, there are – in the experience of me and my friends – [...]

Excuse me, which bus should I take….?

It’s been an interesting fortnight. I’ve had ample opportunity to come up with an appropriate analogy for men. And the best I can come up with is, men are like buses. Seriously. They are large, slightly cumbersome, difficult to drive (or at the very least have difficulty parking) , and sometimes smell funny.  Oh – [...]

A Swift soliloquy

Everything these days is so fast.  There’s speed dating, speed housemating, speedy broadband, speeded-up immigration controls, and lord knows what else.  But in these times of pedal to the metal, are we giving ourselves time to love and mourn, or should we be evolving in our ideas of sex and breakups too? I love Taylor [...]

Just a pawn in the Great Game…?

I’m dating. I want to find romance and fun and friendship and passion and excitement and all that jazz. I want happiness.  I want pleasure.  I want to be on a deserted beach with him, laughing and feeling the warmth of the sun and the warmth of our emotions.  I want to fall asleep on [...]

Happy Valentine’s Day To Me

Valentines – possibly the most emotive word in the English language?  The day and night when our romantic expectations rachet up so high it’s a wonder the world continues to function. Whether single, committed or curious, it has a lot of power and pressure.  But I’m not worried about it… because I’ve got Valentine’s locked [...]