Could you resist a greasy burger?

I realise as a woman, I probably shouldn’t compare other women to cuts of beef but reading about Peter Crouch cheating on Abbey Clancey leaves me with very little choice but to foot the comparison. So here goes…

We’ve all come across the age-old saying, ‘Why go out for a greasy burger when you’ve got steak at home?’

Well if we were to compare Abbey (on looks) to a piece of beef she’d be a prime one, a fillet maybe or rump at the very least. The same goes for Cheryl Cole.

So I find it hard to believe that their husbands would risk a lifetime of steak for a one off, in Crouch’s case, very expensive, greasy burger.

Sure, this must elate some women, this proves a pretty face must not be everything to a man, but if these women can’t keep their men, then who can? Will the overbearing desire for a back-street burger prove too much for them all? No.

So here is a piece of advice for Abbey (or the next Abbey). Not all men cheat.  Footballers cheat.  And you knew that when you entered into the whole WAG saga.

Over the years I’ve come to the conclusion that men like Crouch and Cole cheat because of the endless opportunities that come their way, after all no one can resist the smell of a greasy burger, all juicy and covered with onions and sauce. Even if we know there’s a steak waiting for us at home…it can always go in the freezer until tomorrow, right?

I’m not pretending there has been a surge of cheating footballers, its been going on for years. The only surge has been in the reporting of it. Britons love a good scandal and footballers are prime targets for the slaughter.

Some would deem this unfair (probably John Terry) and see it as a ‘public persecution’ or ‘ruining family lives’ blah, blah, blah but I see it as payback for the millions of undeserved pounds paid to these under-worked arse holes.

The only thing I don’t understand is why these women fall for it time and time again. Toni Terry (the ultimate disgrace to women) is evidence of this. But maybe being publically humiliated over and over again is a small price to pay for the nice cars and jewellery they would never have being able to afford otherwise.

These men will go in search of their burger fix, either because they are too stupid to realise they have steak at home or because the greasy smell is just too much of a temptation to resist.

Unfortunately for the majority of footballers wives and girlfriends we all know they were once the greasy burger and no amount of Juicy Couture can disguise this. They’ve been to the footballers parties and they’ve probably done to the last what is now being done to them. They should be the least surprised.

For me, Cheryl Cole was a breath of fresh air in today’s crazy world of cheating footballers… I only hope Abbey follows in her footsteps.