Kristen Stewart might be a moody, unlikeable scrotum, but at least she can act

Kristen Stewart 2012The name alone runs synonymous with words of negative grace and everything about her screams ‘corrupted’: her manner, her bedraggled hair, her clothes – regularly turning up to red carpet events in nothing but a tank top, shorts and a pair of trainers – and now it seems her relationships could be the final straw for her fans. Or could it all just be a temporary curve ball for her career?


Did anyone even go and see Snow White and The Huntsman? Was it one of the greatest films of your life? Probably not. But was Kristen Stewart a great credit to it? Probably. Ignore the fact that she wanders around with the po-face to end all po-faces and goes about her day grumbling with all the personality of a table leg, ultimately she is a good actress. It’s her job. It’s what she does. It’s who she is. Get it?


But the fine line between celebrity in real life and celebrity on our screens seems to have been hurriedly smudged into submission as Stewart has reportedly been axed from the Snow White and The Huntsman sequel by Universal execs. Her recent affair with her Snow White director Rupert Sanders seems to have really bitten her in the arse a little too indiscreetly as far as Universal are concerned, as they fear for viewing figures of the upcoming sequel. But this isn’t a ground-breaking epiphany for those chastising bigots. If they’d have been looking more closely, instead of cleaning their bifocals with $100 bills rather than regular spec protectors they’d have noticed that stars, if they are reputable enough, will rise out of any self-provoked calamity. Take Chris Brown, that huge hit-making golden boy with the perfect teeth and humble charismatic manner, the same boy who smacked that beloved forehead, I mean five-head, I mean Rihanna in a vicious attack before the Grammy’s not so long ago. Polaroids of Rihanna’s banged up bonce filtered across the world’s media scene and after telling Gilly, who told Kylie, who told Bethany, we all started to get a little dejected about Rihanna, and very bamboozled by the moral dilemma we had to face with Brown. Do we carry on buying his singles, albeit that he has no respect for women and has turned into a savage lunatic? Of course we bloody do. So if Brown can go around knocking the daylights out of one of music’s most-loved female stars, why is it so hard for some of us to forgive Stewart? Or at least settle our burning pitch-forks on the pavement, yeah? For comparison’s sake, Stewart’s case is far less drastic than Brown’s ever was. That sheer identity shift he encapsulated to the public overnight… the ‘good boy gone loony’, that massive knobhead who your mum used to call ‘a lovely boy’. Him. That guy. Stewart, on the other hand, at least stands by what we expect of her – a moody girl with a lot of baggage.


Chris BrownBut whilst we may look down our noses at her like a headmaster to a quivering child, shaking our index finger with furrowed brow, her future acting career should not be laid to suffer as a result. Stewart should be reprimanded for her cheating, of course she should, but by whom she cheated on, not by her producers. Her acting isn’t somehow immediately amateur now that she’s committed a little indiscretion in her personal life. She hasn’t fumbled her lines or accidentally poked Chris Hemsworth in the eye with a stick yet. Her co-stars aren’t going to storm off set, yelling ‘ANYONE BUT HER!’ and film critics aren’t going to snub her just because she made an oopsy. She’s just the same old unfeeling K-Stew, but with a little more darkness to her, and surely we could all live with that.


Rather than being the judgemental lot we are that love to dangle celebrities by the end of a rod, waiting for them to bite and do something bad, so that we can pull them ashore and watch them squirm whilst we giggle and drink liver (I’m imagining us all having long beards and hats made of fencing at this point). Instead, we should probably, I don’t know, grow up? If the roles were reversed and Robert Pattinson were to commit such a sinful, dastardly, unbelievable, never-heard-it-before-in-my-life act, then devoted fans would almost surely jump straight to his defence, seeking a reason, any reason, that could curb his indiscretions and save his bacon. ‘Blame Kristen!’ they’d chant, ‘she is the devil!’ and Pattz would get off scot free, skipping gypsy-like off into the distance humming showtunes.


Perhaps we’re all just solemnly waiting for some sort of accessible break-down from her. We lay in wait for the day that a plethora of Youtube videos showcasing her awash with tears on CNN emerges, close-ups of her sniffling scattering our newsfeeds as she plunges her face into a tiny pillow at scripted intervals, whilst simultaneously professing her love for Pattinson through sobs – that’s what we want. We’d need to see her laid bare, that plain stare shaken and finally be given the drama she’s so surreptitiously kept under lock and key for so long. This is what most of us need in order to feel an ounce of sympathy, as bad as it sounds.


But Kristen Stewart isn’t like other Hollywood starlets. She isn’t fazed if we feel scorned by her hard-façade. She doesn’t give us what we want and we don’t like it one bit, and that’s because she genuinely doesn’t care. And perhaps that’s her biggest downfall, but it’s something we’re going to have to learn to deal with. Once we realise that it’s entirely pointless and it really doesn’t affect us at all, of course. But that will never happen, not with articles like this anyway.


Check out the great items in our online store: