If I was Selena Gomez I think I’d be one of the most troubled girls in all of Toy Town (the Disney star realm), not only because I’d be lumped with one of the most feminised boys in all of Sponge City (the pop stars’ dominion) but because Madame Tussaud singlehandedly just crumbled soot in my toothpaste and tinkled in my mouthwash.
We all know of Madame Tussaud’s as the waxwork mecca that pulls out some right good lookalikeys, but sometimes she does get a bit wired and everything seems to go plain wrong. Take Tiger Woods and Sandra Bullocks’ terrible copy-cats for instance. Just awful. And now poor young Selena has to face yet again, more malarkey. Aside from handling burgeoning abuse from Bieber fans, sending her perpetual death threats and being a general teenage nuisance, her waxwork which was unveiled on the 1st March makes her look more like a hard-faced cougar, rather than the plump fresh doughy-facedness that Gomez really looks like.
You do have to feel for the girl. She may think she’s hit the jackpot with boy wonder Bieber, but hopefully she’ll come to her senses sharpish. Personally, I think his waxwork is quite excellent, not due to the amount of artistry put into it, but that it exemplifies all that he is. Which is ALL woman. Eyeshadow, matte foundationed-looking skin and I swear those are fake eyelashes daintily placed into his sockets, just screaming ‘MENSTRUAL CYCLE!’.
I don’t know, perhaps in a decade or so when they’re no more well remembered than the cast of Biker Grove our kids might point and ask if this couple were the first civil partnership in the ‘olden days’. Perhaps this is what Tussaud was aiming to do. Yes, it must be; drawing attention to history’s cultivating movements throughout time. Next we just need a waxwork of Micky Rourke as an image of society’s loss of utter hope and then we can all carry on with our lives in peace, after we get over the initial nightmares of course.