The ‘have it all’ woman is probably just as lonely and fictitious as Ms. Havisham

Katy PerryBesides controlling our calorie intake and deciding on which humble bachelor we are to stumble down the aisle with, it seems that ‘having it all’ is just another item to add to the list of fates we women can only hope to master in our lives.


In the 50s, to ‘have it all’ would’ve meant to successfully present your marriage, your kids and your possessions like a Faberge egg in a merchant’s window display and, on some level, this may have been a wise idea on their part. Perhaps they weren’t the hum-ha Stepford-type housewives we’ve come to associate the 50s with. Perhaps they weren’t the ones that complacently fell to their husbands’ waysides – maybe the modern ‘having it all’ had already been tried and tested by them, a formula which inevitably fell apart when these women realised that it was simply just. too. hard. Curse those evil blood-sucking feminists who searched for ‘independence’ and ‘equality’. Now women are forced to spend life in isolated purgatory as we aim to balance our career, with our marriages and our families. It’s just too hard and I, on behalf of all women that have a daily stress-hour or two, don’t like it one bit.


And it doesn’t just affect us little people, either. Even in Celebland, the land where everything is right and bright and sunny, the husbands can be just as arsey, and the women just as p***ed off about it all. Yes, the news about Katy Perry and Russell Brand’s divorce is of no new revelation, but Perry has recently announced how Brand told her, with no too short a tongue, that it’s either her career or her marriage. Pleasingly, Perry got out of that repugnant choice and filed for divorce ASAP, but some of us are not that head-strong (or have the circumstances to go forth with it), and it’s this fortress that is ultimately the most discouraging factor.


Of course, in an ideal world, we would never have to make such a bold decision; our husbands would be proud of our career, we would feel complete, and our marriages would be happily nondescript. Instead, in reality, we are just merely handed a broken Faberge egg and told to make do and mend.. unfortunately, it’s the choice of knowing how to put it back together without any tell-tale holes which proves to be the hardest part, and one which we can all still afford to learn.