We’ll always go for d**kheads, it’s the cycle of life

Demi Moore and Ashton KutcherWhen you consider the two words ‘celebrity couple’ you can’t help but immediately roll your eyes, absent-mindedly turning the pages in your magazine, saying ‘yeah, I give it two weeks after the reality show lapses’. Well, we do have enough ammunition to say so… think Kim and Kris, Britney and Jason Alexander, Dennis Rodman and Carmen Electra, these are all living, breathing examples of what a relationship should never be like. Even the ones that look blissfully in love fall apart – who would have ever imagined that the beautiful Eva Longoria and Tony Parker would part ways? Or Heidi Klum and Seal, for that matter? But, as we all know, looks get you into the honeymoon stage and after that it is just bare-backed personality to maintain the relationship which, rather cynically, tends to peter out rather rapidly.


The majority of people I come across are around 19-21 years old and, quite rightly, don’t see relationships in the most, let’s say, durable of terms. One friend stated the other day how she really wanted a boyfriend because her Facebook was getting boring. How’s that for 21st century love, eh? Another friend said how she couldn’t imagine being with a guy who didn’t have six-pack. Now, from my knowledge of being a regular gym-goer, the majority of men with six-packs are very few and far between, and those who do adorn the coveted six-pack would much rather stare in the mirror whilst they pump weights with that God-awful grimace than sit down on the sofa with you and a bevvy. Six packs are grotesque anyway, who wants a man with abs like a bloody speed bump? I quite obviously have friends with a penchant for road safety precautions.


And what’s with this new generation of Jersey Shore wannabes? I’m so over people stating how happy they are being single, living the life like a tool, when really all you can see is a fragile person with no idea about how much they’re willingly missing out on. Granted, most people are happy being single, but those that hop from bed to bed in an attempt to ‘fill a space’ (no pun intended), are not being what the adjectives suggest: free, independent, enjoys own company. In fact, this generation’s idea of single is quite the opposite.


Some celebrity couples, however, show us how it’s done. Brad and Angelina, very much the gods of Hollywood, have a great thing going. It’s seems so idealistic and effortless, how they waited for their marriage, how they put the kids first in every aspect, how now fame is not their romantic partner, but the spouse is. They may have found each other late in the game, but that doesn’t mean everything is haphazard, a stop-start affair of tacky marriages, messy child-bearing and an even messier subsequent divorce.


What I’d like for people to take from their romantic affairs is that wholesomeness does not occur overnight. Romantic ventures should be given more thought than a five-second fumble with a condom, and welling up because the d**khead you said you wanted actually turned out to be, well, a d**khead. How many times have you heard the line, ‘I’ll never understand guys, they’re all [insert appropriate Facebook-status-friendly swear word here]’? In reality, I think we actually do understand guys, but at the end of it all, we’d all much rather go for the d**khead and complain about it afterwards. It’s the cycle of life.