This is the lament we hear from so many people who email us, post to our Facebook page and come to us for relationship coaching. We empathize with those who have been searching and searching for the right partner and come up empty.
And feel so alone.
Maybe you’ve been struggling in a similar way. You long for someone who will adore you, respect you, kiss you, make love to you and simply love you. You’ve probably dated or been in relationships before and things just didn’t work out.
Now you are ready to attract the kind of relationship you’ve been wanting and it’s not looking hopeful.
One woman recently emailed us to say…
All of my acquaintances are married and have wonderful husbands and children. As soon as possible, I want to find a wonderful husband who will love me forever, but there is no light in the tunnel.
It can be frustrating and disheartening and you might believe that the reason why you’ve not yet met your perfect partner is because the city or town you live in is too small or too large. Maybe you think all of the “good ones” in your age group are taken. Maybe you believe that it’s only jerks or sluts that get dates or even that love is dead.
Maybe you are convinced that something is wrong with you and that’s why you are still single.
We want you to know that the reasons why you believe you haven’t yet been able to attract a relationship are most likely flat out wrong! Next, we invite you to get curious. Start noticing your usual thoughts and habitual actions because that’s where you have the most power to make a change.
That’s also the place where you’re probably sabotaging your chance at love. Here are 5 love-blocking habits that you can stop doing today…
1. “Not Enough” thinking
One huge reason why you’re not already with someone who is right for you is because, on some level, you don’t believe you deserve to be. Insecurity is destructive and will dampen your attractiveness.
To build healthy self esteem, stop telling yourself that you’re not enough. Pause when you think that you’re not pretty/thin/curvy/fit/built/wealthy/funny/smart enough to get the kind of partner you’ve been looking for. Come up with a list of your positive attributes. If this is difficult, think of just one thing you like about yourself and build from there.
Sizing up the “competition” is a prime example of how you might be believing that you’re not enough in some way. You may also be sabotaging your chance at love by comparing the people you meet to others.
If you become fixated on how this guy reminds you of your ex or how that woman isn’t as good looking as your friend’s wife, stop it! Even if your comparison deems the person you’re with right now as somehow “better,” you’re putting up a block to connection. It’s helpful to know what you like in a date or partner, but it’s unwise to be so picky that nobody meets your standards.
3. Living in the past
Comparing is also an obstacle to love because it takes you away from the present. When you compare, remember a date you went on a year ago or flashback to a moment you shared with your ex, you are distracted and distant. You aren’t speaking and interacting with this person you’re getting to know (or know better), instead, you’re reacting from whatever happened with a different person from your past.
That’s never good for love.
Being fake or unreal is another thing that’s never good for love. Most people will know if you are pretending to be something that you’re not. They might not realize it right away, but many do.
Now is the time to accept yourself for who you are now– not who you want to be– and to let your best self shine through. Again, work on acknowledging your strengths and those personality traits that you like and let those be known to others. When you are genuinely who you are, not everyone will be attracted to you, but the right match for you will be.
5. Trying too hard
And speaking of the right match for you…when you have met someone who you are interested in and you feel chemistry with, don’t sabotage it by trying too hard. The temptation to over-analyze every little thing he or she says or does can be difficult to resist.
Calm down and relax as much as you can. Remember to have fun with this process and know that if a relationship is going to develop, it will. Let it happen and things will go so much easier.
Finding love doesn’t have to be such difficult work! Automatic Attraction Secrets is your key to a brand new love and life. Stop searching and visit www.automaticattractionsecrets.com to start attracting your perfect partner now.