Are You The Other Woman?

man flirting with other woman

How to tell if your new man is already taken


Okay ladies, listen up. Ever dated a man who (unbeknownst to you) already had a girlfriend/wife/boyfriend? (Yes, I said boyfriend. Believe me, it happens). Yeah, well, me too.


But if you haven’t been duped into being his mistress (you seem to be in a minority nowadays, lucky!) then it is almost certain that you will someday come across this particular type of man. He’s a charmer, lovely and good looking, but he’s hiding a big and dangerous committed-relationship-sized secret.


If you don’t find out about his other half before you start dating, then there are a few ways to tell if he’s already taken…


1. “The Last Second Ditch”

Cancelling at the last minute is the most frustrating trait in the man who has something to hide. And when I say ‘at the last minute’ I mean literally at the last second of the last minute. And it’s not just once or twice, it is almost all of the time. When speaking to my friends about this, one said that one guy she dated would often phone her to cancel at the exact moment they were due to meet.


2. “The Friends”

He is reluctant, or more likely, extremely against you meeting his friends or anybody remotely attached to his life in any way. But if you have met a friend of his or somebody he knows, it is most likely to have happened by accident. He wouldn’t risk introducing you to someone in his life who could let it slip to his girlfriend. In any accidental meetings he would carefully make sure he didn’t introduce you as his date or girlfriend. He may even have the audacity to call you his ‘friend’ right in front of your face even though he assures you that you‘re his one true love in private.


3. “The Meeting Place”

You and he are making plans for a date. Maybe dinner? The cinema? He likes the sounds of these classic dates, but you can’t decide where we go, he will. And he’ll choose the places where he’s least likely to bump into his wife, his friends or someone who could relay his date back. The cinema in the area you both live? No! Why on earth would you want to go there? Let’s go to the one right over on the other side of the city. Why? Just…you know…it’s cheaper? Their popcorn is fresher…? The staff…have great…uniforms…?


4. “The Telephonic Device”

This is the most important way of knowing whether you’re the other woman (also the main way to tell if he’s cheating, but that’s a whole other article). First of all, he won’t allow you to even see his phone for a split second. Not even to play a game or to check your emails. He will also never answer when you call, but expects you to answer when he calls you at the most inconvenient and random times. Like when he knows you’ll be at work/sleeping/doing something equally important such as visiting someone in hospital. He just phones when he’s got a minute out of earshot of his unsuspecting other half. A dead giveaway is when you phone him and a woman answers. Just don’t be so in love with him that you let him tell you it’s his sister. Believe me, it happens!

And here’s a quick footnote:


A friend of mine, let’s call her Mia, once booty-called a hot boy she’d met at the bar. She knew he had a long-term girlfriend. He turned up at her house, they…you know what they did, we can skip that bit…he went home. Around two hours later, said long-term girlfriend comes a-knocking at Mia’s door. Long story short, Mia had to barricade herself into the house for around three hours while the girlfriend shouted death threats and other verbal abuse through the door whilst simultaneously trying to break the door down.


I’m sure there’s a moral in there somewhere…


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  1. Hannah says:

    This is sooo true! I think you’ve nailed it on the head. However true it may be doesn’t stop us though does it! Great article!

  2. Meghan says:

    Hahahahah YES!!!!!!!