Can You Be In Love Without Being Obsessive?

Love poem heart - NorgisIt’s not every woman that can blissfully proclaim, ‘Yes, I am in love’ and be done with it, no lovey-dovey Facebook wall-to-wall messages, no unbearable PDAs and no damned compulsory boyfriend-related word vomit that seems to accompany every loved-up girl’s mouth when the dreaded L-word rears its head.


In all honesty, I find love to be worn rather tackily on people these days, like a SALE tag sticking out of the back of a blouse, or diamantes that fall off with the first wash. Where has the romance gone? Surely there’s nothing more romantic than subtlety? A proposal on an individual carriage riding through Paris is surely a lot more meaningful than a promenade of singing waiters in a packed restaurant. With intimacy comes comfort, personal ties, secrets and details that only you two share and are not built for the necessary business of others. For further reference see: Katie Price and Peter (I’m just a simple dad) Andre.


If you’re not entirely inclined to trust this warbling cynic, proclaiming that all lovers are obsessive, then I invite you to go on holiday with a recently loved-up friend and you can see for yourself how mind-numbingly drab it is to undergo such garble. A friend and I recently went on holiday abroad for a week, and I, silly me, thought we could easily leave behind the three-week old new boyfriend behind at the boarding gates. But no. He was there. He was there on ‘facetime’, Facebook, text messaging, phone calls, and when that didn’t get too much to handle, there was the constant nammin’ about everything they’ve done together, how much she misses him, what she’s going to do with him when she gets back (spare me). This kind of stuff could actually break away the happiest person’s aura; even Dale Winton would’ve tactlessly told my friend where to shove it.


It is true that not many people find love, or can experience the true sense of euphoria that all the glorious Hollywood films depict, but once we believe that we do, it does seem reasonable to want to hang onto that feeling. However, knowing your audience is part of boyfriend-talk. Chatting amongst other mates who have boyfriends is acceptable, given that it can be a two-way interaction, rather than simply just sicking up the same name over and over again into each sentence.


An obsession is only of those funny feelings that can be likened to drugs; the sudden rush of instant pleasure that knowingly dissipates over time. Almost like when you stand on a plug and that surging pain surges through your body where you’re sure it’ll hurt forever, but then slowly it dissolves away, and you look like a right knob because you’re stood there on one limp foot with a scrunched-up face, nearly in tears, telling your flatmate about ‘Love and Other Plugs’.


Whilst there may be no better feeling than being in love, there’s no worse feeling than the sense of loss once you become distant from a friend that cannot relate to you anymore. It’s always good to be wary of your relationship status with your friends because they are in it with you for the long haul, and, as the old Darwinian phrase goes, ‘chicks before dicks (…)’ and so forth…


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1 Comment

  1. LoveSceneMag says:

    Those that shout the loudest about their love, usually have insecurities about it, albeit at a subconscious level. It is super annoying when people behave this way but maybe you can be the smug one with those comments in mind… ;-)