In the last article I had promised that I would tell you some good ways to deal with over-possessiveness. Well, I did some research and found that a majority of people compare it to a lack of trust. They say that the people who can’t trust their partners, get over-possessive. It may be true but I believe that the root cause of over possessiveness is insecurity. It’s just that women who feel insecure, get overly possessive. So, now the real question arises: How to deal with the insecurities? Can you really do it?
Since, I talked about trust already, I will address this part first. Like mentioned above, over possessive ladies face a lot of difficulties in trusting their partners. It’s not because they don’t want to. It’s because they can’t. They always live in a state of sheer fear that the opposite person will abandon them. Leave them for some other woman.
Now, just think about this for a while. A guy who is with you just because you have tied a rope around his neck, does he deserves to be with you? Believe me. If he loves you then he will never abandon you (no matter how pretty his secretary is, for him you will always be the prettier one). And if he doesn’t, then why do you want to be with such a guy who doesn’t even know your value? Do you really want to live your entire life this way? Keeping a watch over him? They say, sometimes you have to set a person free. If he comes back, he belongs to you. If he doesn’t, then he probably never belonged to you.
People who are in a long distance relationship usually encounter this problem. Umm, I will not say don’t go for a long distance relationship because you can’t really do much about it (love transcends boundaries and you can’t stop loving a person just because he doesn’t live with you). But there are a lot of other ways in which you can definitely try to overcome your insecurities.
1. The first and foremost thing that you need to do is find an aim in your life. Whether it’s becoming a dedicated housewife, a good mother or a successful business woman. You ought to have an aim in your life. When you get busy, such thoughts will stop haunting your mind.
2. The next thing that you need to work on is your inferiority complex. I’m a science student and I want to tell you one amazing fact about yourself. ‘Every atom that is inside your body was once inside a star that exploded. Moreover, the atoms in your left hand probably came from a different star than those in the right. You are, literally, a star child and your body is made up of stardust’, (Lawrence Krauss). Isn’t that awesome?
You are unique and no one can replicate you. So, please cherish what you have. Know your strengths and work on your weaknesses. Some girl may have an extraordinary beauty while another may have excellent hair. But she can never be you, because you are special. You are different!
3. In any relationship, most of the misunderstanding arises because we didn’t say things that we wanted to, at the right time. If you don’t like something about him or have any doubts, then tell him. Share your insecurities with him. Talk about matters which upset you. Dealing with problems before they take a colossal form is, undoubtedly, a wise decision.
4. I have seen this that women who are extremely over possessive, don’t have any friends. And the situation worsens when their partners have a whole gang to hang out with. I understand that for you, he is your whole world but it’s always good to have friends.
5. Get along with his female friends. You never know when you might end up finding an awesome friend in his female friend. And that also solves the purpose of the above tip.
Last but not the least. Love yourself. I know it sounds a little bit mean, but others will love and respect you only when you love and respect yourself. If someone has to feel insecure in a relationship, then that ‘someone’ shouldn’t be you.
This time I am not leaving any task for the readers. Freshen up your mind and enjoy the week with him. But don’t forget to kick the insecurities out of the window. Spread love.