My experiences of this minefield known as dating have given me some pretty good insights into myself, men, and how the game has changed since our parents got together.
In as much as I like to respect individuality and give men a chance, there are – in the experience of me and my friends – certain situations which occur. But how to handle them?
When he doesn’t call after sex
- 24 hours later it’s pretty clear if he’ll be in touch. So when you wake up the morning after the morning after, with not a single type of communication from him:
- delete his number
- delete your communications
- focus on the pleasure and orgasms
- don’t waste another second pining over the douche
On a horrific date
- get out of there.
If he points out you have split ends and roots - see above
If he steals your underwear - Don’t see him again. Or steal some of his
If he says ‘wow’ every time you kiss – Up to you. But consensus view is, bin him
- enjoy it. You only owe yourself the chance to be happy.
- don’t lie – but don’t tell them unless you want to.
- depending on the kind of men you go for, do tell them – and let them know you’re not theirs, they need to work for it and convince you they are the best. Standard male psychology.
Copious dates but nothing further
- decide what you really want: who, what, characteristics.
- pick places you like going. The pub is boring.
- be more selective about who you engage with virtually, and then who you meet
- pick a niche website. I’m on a national one and one which caters to a more specific taste.
- Don’t rush your heart or let your guard down too easily. We all want love but being open and vulnerable can lead to getting seriously hurt.
- Don’t compromise who you are – I am feisty, fiery, passionate in all aspects of my life, demanding, have high expectations and generally don’t trust men. I’m also empathic, actively supportive, and loyal to a fault. I always give as good as I get. Do you really want to be with someone who wants to change you?
- Don’t get (too) drunk – stay in control and you wont regret anything that happens
- Leave him wanting more – too much time together too quickly is a sure-fire way to burst the bubble and leave you wondering what on earth you were doing with him in the first place. Take time away from him to coolly think about if it is really what you want.