Employment, Romance, And The First-Date Questions You’d Really Love To Ask

first datesEmployment prudence demands a dash of realism as well as dreams.  In the current and likely future economic climate (cheers George) chasing your dream job is admirable, but you need to earn enough to live.  Thus we are advised not to just quit your job.  Do your dream role voluntarily in your free time, do an internship, network and meet lots of potential employers.  But while doing this, make sure you have a steady source of income.  Employment realism is practical and sensible.  But what about finding the right special someone? These days it’s pretty common to have a second job – but having a second partner is somewhat frowned upon.  Therefore, it’s important to select the right one for the task.  Not to mention, a crappy job is tolerable – but a crappy partner is just unpleasant.  (Though no-one is perfect so don’t expect them to be).


Online dating is now the most popular way to meet someone in London.  We’re either too busy to mingle, or can’t remember how.  But that’s how it is.  Yet this method lacks the certain je ne sais qua that leads to you anticipating your date with butterflies a-flutter.  Add to this it’s likely to be pretty business-like at first, until you get to know one another.  Online dating is similar to an interview, especially the first date.  Nerves have a tendency to get in the way of flirting.  But while nerves are accepted at interview and may not prevent you being employed, anxiety on a date can unfortunately lead to a bad evening.  It’s highly unlikely the initial communication will be as intensive as the employment application process (though I confess I like the idea of referees for a potential) – you’ll likely message and email each other for a period of time before you meet, rather than have them complete an extensive application form you have written.  Somehow “how do your skills match up to my essential and desirable criterion?” screams neither romance nor fun, and is unlikely to score you the date. Shame, but it’s not an employee you’re looking for.


At interview, we are encouraged to ask intelligent questions to really get the information and make a decision based upon the newly-learned facts.  But Brits being Brits, we are too polite to ask the questions we really want to on a date.  So we skirt round the issues, trying to subtly ask and analyse the responses without the other person realising what you’re up to.  Were I to have carte blanche to ask ANYTHING on the first date, I would go for:


1.  (If they’re great) why are you single – what’s wrong with you?

2.  (If they’re not that great) do you really think you have a chance with me?

3.  Do you have any weird sexual desires that will freak me out?

4.  Do you have any convictions for violence / theft / fraud?

5.  What are your most annoying and disgusting habits?

6.  Are you currently in a relationship and looking for a bit on the side?

7.  What’s your STD history like?

8.  How would your ex describe you?

9.  What kind of drunk are you?

10.  What are your real expectations of this date?


The date that could chuckle at these questions and maybe answer one or two would definitely have a good sense of humour – and be worth seeing again.  At the very least, you’d have a lot of fun watching them try not to snort out their drink as you try to keep a straight face – one way to take the interview-esque edge off.


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