Going backwards can often be the best step forward!

People say going backwards is never a good thing. Apparently re-visiting the past can only lead to more heartache… well guess what? I disagree!

Sometimes things hurt you (not in a car accident kind of way) and you are not sure how to move on yet all you can do is try and through trying maybe you will find that point where you have moved on. What people avoid doing is actually re-visiting what made them hurt and what caused them problems. This is an are I think people should be going back to and shouldn’t fear because by re-visiting things you may actually get that closure you want so much.

What we all too often do (when I say all I mean myself) is make the mistake of hanging on to the past. Hoping we can re-create what old magic I might have had, but with someone else. This is a huge mistake because what is inevitable is that I will never be able to re-create my past relationships with someone else. All I can do is create a new relationship and try not to make the same mistakes again. Which lead me straight on to my next point.

Often when we split with someone we ask for a million answers all in one go, and we never get them. What we get is a lot of emotion (crying, apologies, and all the boring stuff) but what we really want is the answers we just don’t realize that until a point when going backwards is not a good idea. Or is it?

What is missing with people these days is the willingness to go back and ask why things happened the way they did, and what events led up to them. What this allows us to do is get the closure we are wanting so much. Instead what some people (I mean myself) make the mistake of doing is hiding behind a new relationship and pretending that nothing is a problem. They only problem  with that, it will inevitably come back to haunt you, and it will be something that until you confront will always be there.

Whilst people will always tell you going backwards is a mistake, I would sometimes disagree sometimes going backwards is often the best way to go forwards. It allows us to get them answers. Yes we may get hurt again yes it may be upsetting, but what we get out of it is the power to move on with our lives.  I myself have made this mistake of trying to move on to quick in the past, how do I deal with this. Confront the past! It is all I have, it will either give me closure, or make me see I still want the past…. Either way, I get closure on the situation!

Let me apologise now if this is quite a self absorbed piece.


Sean Bromley


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