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Hey! Where’s the Fire?

desperation datingIs it just me or has anyone else noticed how desperate a lot of women seem to be lately? Desperate to get a boyfriend to take them out and to love them. Desperate to find a man as good as (or preferably better than) their ex who broke their heart. Desperate to catch a man and drag him down the aisle to everlasting marital bliss. Any man will do. Any! Any takers? Any?! Please!

 

There seem to be so many people rushing into serious relationships without actually knowing each other. I mean I know it’s the end of the world in December and everything, but come on now – that doesn’t mean you have to rush out and throw yourself at the first man you see on the street. He could be anyone. He could be a jobless lout with no view for the future except for which game to play after he’d completed that one he’s playing right now. Or he could already have a serious girlfriend (refer back to previous article; I’ve already covered this subject). Or he could be that escaped mass-murderer that you saw on the news the other day and thought was weirdly cute. What I’m trying to say is; “take off the pressure!” There’s no need to rush into things with a guy and there’s no need to force yourself to date a guy who you don’t truly like. Get to know each other, have fun and learn. If you go into it already setting the date for your wedding you’ll never get to enjoy just being with him and learning what he likes and what he doesn’t. You won’t get the pre-date butterflies that last long after the first few dates and you’ll never get those cute movie montage moments. You know, with both of you laughing hysterically on the bus at his bad jokes, romantically sharing a Frappuccino in a sunny city square, snowball fights that end in a massively inappropriate session of PDA in front of a group of staring kids. How can you grow into a relationship if you’ve already got it planned out and you tell him you’re in love with him on your second date?

 

The first year or so of a relationship is amazing. By just learning to relax and not pushing the relationship to places that don’t feel natural to you, you’ll see what a difference it makes. Pushing a relationship too quickly when it doesn’t feel right for you or your partner just ruins the romance and the whole fragile set up of your partnership. You’ll end up resenting each other and have screaming matches in the street. You’ll be that couple who go out to dinner and just stare silently away from each other, into the restaurant watching people who are actually happy. And that’s depressing. I’ve been there. So don’t be scared to hold out a little longer for a guy you actually have feelings for and don’t be scared to let the relationship grow naturally. Let him get to know you, have fun with each other, joke around and make mistakes – it’s ok, it’s allowed. Not only will you grow as a couple, but you’ll also grow as a person.

 

I’m not saying this is necessarily right for every couple out there. I’m just saying that since I took the pressure off, I kissed a guy one cold night last December. I didn’t know where it would lead. We just went with it, done what felt natural. I’ve been with  him for almost a year now and in all honesty; this is the happiest relationship I’ve ever had.

 

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