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I must not belong in Venus…

Bridget Jones

Ok, so I am a little out of my depth here… Well, a lot out of depth. I do not usually do this. I am usually a-writing-about-fashion-kind-o’-girl. You know the type; descriptions of material, the way it falls, what will go with it, etc. I do not write about dating or relationships.

This is probably something surprising to my friends because I am, without a doubt, one of those disgraceful girls who talk loudly about periods and sex, much to the reserved one’s embarrassment. I like to think I have the openness of Bridget Jones, but where she tells her diary all her intimate life stories, I tell, pretty much, the entire population of Salford. So now I’m branching out. But not in the sense that men are from Mars, why can’t he make me a decent cup of tea, Women are from Venus, and why am I crying yet again? I mean, don’t get me wrong, if my boyfriend left me for a girl with longer hair than me and a smaller waist, or if she was a Barbie-esque maneater, then yes, I will happily say men are rats, but at the moment I’m going to discuss a little fact I read the other day.

Apparently, a large amount of men and women were asked what the scariest time of their life was and the results came back that a man’s most terrifying, palm sweating moment, is saying those life-changing words, ‘I do.’ Surprised? Nope, me neither.

At the tender age of 21, marriage as a concept, let alone an event in one’s life, surely does send me into a pale state. But, what did surprise me was the fact that when women were asked, their scariest moment turned out to be… TAKING THEIR DRIVING TEST! Yes! A DRIVING TEST! Either marriage isn’t that scary, or a driving test is the most nerve-racking, life-changing, ‘Oh-my-god-what-am-I-doing’  time, in a person’s life? Now, I have taken my driving test and yes, to put it mildly, I was so scared throughout mine that the scouse inspector spoke to be constantly, and I mean, constantly, in order to help me relax. It didn’t mind you, it left me talking and talking without much attention to the roads but… Failing at a marriage, women!

Come on! A driving test can be easily retaken! I have known people to have failed their practical driving test four times. FOUR TIMES. Imagine if that had been marriage! We’d all be looking at a lot more Ross-Three-Divorces-Gellar from Friends wouldn’t we!

So, does this show how different men are? If men are from a different planet; one where they believe signing your single life over to someone for the rest of eternity, is scarier than driving down the road accompanied by a fluorescent jacket wearing, clipboard carrying, passenger,  then,  I must be from Mars. Yep, I’ve said it.

Now,  I am going to clarify that this was a survey and therefore it does not mean THE ENTIRE POPULATION OF WOMEN OR OF MEN, thank Heavens above, it is just some, but more than average, eek.

But once again, what do I know? I have not been married.

Perhaps I will go down the aisle in true Disney fashion. Perhaps, walking down the aisle in my gown will be my calling. Bye-bye attempts at being a fashion journalist, I am going to become a wife. And so I do not know. It does make me somewhat happier though that if anything in my life happens, I will be able to get through it because, yes, I got through my driving test. Phew. Thanks ladies.

But anyway, I am new at all this ‘dating discussions.’ It is not my forte. What does my opinion matter? I am no Liz Jones, Bridget, or unhappy singleton. I am just one of those disgracefully out-spoken people. I will always have something to rant about, whether it’s fashion, sex or periods. This time, it’s not a moan about men… just wait.

 



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