You pack their bags with them, you walk them to their car, you kiss them one last time, and finally you tell them you love them and you will see them very soon…. They call it a long distance relationship.
There is a new film in town Going The Distance, it stars Drew Barrymore (which is all I care about) and it focuses on how two people cope when they have to make their relationship work from a distance. This film got me to thinking about relationships that are done from afar, and questioning if they can work, or if they’re destined for doom.
I want to try and start by questioning why there is a distance there. An example is myself, I went off to one university and my girlfriend went to another, we had been together two years, but within weeks there was a strain, whilst she wasn’t enjoying being alone, I was loving it, I was finding a whole new side of myself (thinking about it, I would have been better off single). She on the other hand hated where she was, she was bored and didn’t have a great deal to do, so in the end she decided to join me at my university (cut a long story short we split up a year later…. her loss). What did I learn from it? Essentially the distance was the problem, whilst she struggled with it, I thrived on it, I enjoyed the space, I liked being alone and it was then that I realized this couldn’t work. If a couple are together and the other is offered an opportunity elsewhere, and it means a long distance relationship, then my opinion leads me to think that the main priority is not with the partner (I’m thinking of becoming a new Jeremy Kyle). Actually the priority is in their own needs, and desires, and whilst I don’t think this is a bad thing (here comes the contradiction) I do think it is something that should have been thought about before entering a relationship, if you’re willing to leave your partner in a city on their own, and go be by yourself, it’s worth questioning what your main priority is, because whilst you might love someone, it’s clearly not as important as an opportunity elsewhere.
Long distance relationships can survive, but it’s not easy, and it will be a select few that make them work. What makes them work? The people involved I guess, it depends on the kind of person you are, if you’re happy to spend the weekends seeing your partner, or the odd night, then it’s something for you, but if like me you miss the closeness, the intimacy (I mean sex) and all the other things that come with spending time with your partner, then the likelihood is that long distance isn’t enough for you, and it may be time to get back on those dating websites, because you will never be satisfied with what you do get, you will always long for more, and you will always ask the same question…. When are you coming back?
I am not suggesting everyone is the same, but sometimes selfishness is a good thing, and if your partner wants to be selfish and make this long distance to benefit themselves, then maybe its worth you considering being selfish, and saying that it is not enough.