Ripping up the Relationship Rota

Relationship RotaHumans. We are creatures of routine. We have rotas and schedules for everything from the second we are born. School schedules, job schedules, diary dates for visiting family and friends. Oh, yawn! I seem to have fallen into an uninterested stupor just thinking about the word ‘routine’. I guess it’s easier for me than for most people to just float through life without a detailed day to day plan. I’m something of a hippy at heart, and plan on living my life in a romantically distressed cottage with a herb garden and chickens, meditating and saying things like ‘peace comes from within’. There will of course, also be a beautiful man sharing my house, tending my herb garden for me. My lifestyle will be funded by my written ramblings (much like this article!). But even with a free spirited lifestyle, people still fall into routines. Even meditation meets are scheduled.

But, it’s not so much the general day to day habits that I take such issue with, it’s the habits and ruts we all fall into when we are sharing our lives with someone else. A significant other. The boyfriend, the girlfriend, the hubby. It’s so easy to sink into the mind-numbing everyday without even a split second of thought. It can feel as though you’re living the same day over and over and over. And over. Stop and think for a moment – don’t take him for granted, and don’t allow him to do the same to you. If you’re reading this and feeling it ring true, it’s time to take action!

So what’s your relationship rota? Monday to Friday: work (Tuesday and Thursday nights are set aside for meeting physical needs *wahey*). You alternate Saturdays to visit each other’s parents and Sunday you sit around in your pyjamas all day watching TV and chatting idly about work gripes. And maybe some pyjama sex if you’re feeling daring and can take doing it three times in one week. If this schedule (or a variation thereof) is you then, wow. Wow. That’s all I can say.

Stop being so complacent and organise a trip together. Do something fun; it doesn’t matter what the season (time for a shameless plug; read my ‘Keeping Warm in Winter’ article for more ideas!) As well as shaking up your boring life, doing things together can help you to remember why it was you fell for him in the first place. He’ll no longer seem to be a piece of (slobby) furniture in your house, but the handsome, funny man you saw all those months/years/decades ago (delete as appropriate).

WARNING: Start off slowly, don’t just go skydiving in Guatemala straight away. We don’t want to shock the system too much.

How about some daytrips? Or maybe you could meet him after work for a naughty late afternoon tipple? Do stuff outside the house! Wow, what a thought eh? The best solution for shaking it up a bit is to go on holiday. It doesn’t have to be somewhere crazy, but just get away. Just the two of you; no work, no friends and family. Bliss. You’ll see other sides to him and he’ll see other sides to you (he’ll probably see you shaving your armpits, but hey, that’s how relationships grow). You’ll not only come back feeling refreshed of your stale life, but you’ll also come back in a relationship that is all shiny and new again! (Or if you take my advice and you come back hating each other, then I’ve done you a favour in making you realise you’re not with the right person. Maybe you’ll meet a gorgeous exotic man soon, who’ll whisk you off to live at his winery somewhere in the south of Europe where the sun always shines and you can drink the wine he makes all day long). Phew that was a long bracket.

So basically, this long-winded article is just saying one thing, which I seem to have summed up in the title; rip up the relationship rota!