Sex: It’s just me, you… and the rest of the world?

Couple in bed


This morning a press release got dumped in my inbox for another website that I clutter up with my written ramblings. These press releases are usually bog-standard articles that need to be written about the state of the world or the actions of a celebrity; so you can imagine my surprise when I opened up this press release and was instantly bombarded with information about the sex toy industry and how it’s evolving.


I know, I had to look twice too.


It would seem that between the erotic novels and the ease in which people can purchase these ever-popular sex toys for the bedroom, the country has gone sex crazy, and the sex companies are reaping the financial benefits. Now I’m all for dishing the dirt over cocktails with the girls, but with more and more people divulging their personal experiences it seems that sex isn’t between two people anymore; it’s between two people and the rest of the world that they decide to share it with. With that in mind… do we need to draw a sexual line?


Okay, it might seem a little bit boring, but when did it become everyone else’s business what I like to do in the bedroom? It seems that we’ve gone from one extreme to the other: a nation that was once embarrassed to utter the word sex is now more inclined to judge those who don’t talk about it rather than those who do. The country has done a 180 flip on the topic of sex and I for one am having a hard time adjusting.


Can we talk about all things sexual now? Is it okay to offer a critique of what sexual toys you and your partner have used, or is that just too much? And here lies my problem. We seem to have opened door for ourselves where we can roam freely around the topic of sex and offer people the comforting idea that they will no longer be judged, when in reality, they will! People aren’t ready to hear about the real-life antics of the likes of Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele, that’s why they’re fictional. These people do exist, but we don’t hunt them out; we don’t liken ourselves to them and very few of us would actually join in their antics if we were presented with the opportunity.


So why have we all suddenly gone erotica crazy?


A few writer friends have mine have suggest that it’s a phase. People are basking in the novelty of being able to discuss their sex lives with their friends but sooner or later it will wear off and we’ll sink back into the dark ages of hidden sex lives and embarrassing naughty encounters that we need at least three cocktails before we admit to having done it. In the meantime, are we meant to continue plastering our sex lives out their for whoever to see?


I was, perhaps rather boringly, raised on the idea that sex is between two people. No, I’m not pleading innocent and telling you that my friends have never heard anything about my sex life because that would be a flat out lie. My friends know a lot about my sex life. What my friends don’t know are the inner details of my intimate encounters that are too important to be discussed over drinks at the end of the working week.


I used to just think it was men that failed to make the distinction between what was and wasn’t appropriate to share with the lads, but now it seems that everyone is willing and eager to blurt out everything they have and while some people love it, I can’t help but feel like somehow, somewhere, we’ve blurred a sexual line; and that something that should be between two people is now between two people, and anyone else who wants to listen…