Why is it that people start relationships without a first date?
My past two relationships have begun with nothing but the question which immediately puts you into a relationship, not being given the option to even get to know the person. So when we are young why do first dates seem absent?
Are real dates reserved for those in their twenties and thirties? Where you can go dancing and have a three course meal in a fancy restaurant and sip wine by candle light. Is it this image which teenagers shy away from, that we don’t seem adequate for that scenario?
Why can’t we join in with the adults and have sophisticated first dates, if we even get one?
The thing is, teenage dates are less formal so I’d relish the fun of sitting across from someone in a quaint restaurant enjoying their latest story of the sudden events in the stock market – because they have a real job not a weekend pay in a local Asda’s. Is it the money or the lack of experiance which separates the adult from the teen dates?
A low income can cause a date to suffer. The less of the money the less fun and general interest . So do we know what to expect in our dates depending on our age?
My first dating experiance was typically teenaged, dinner in a local pizzeria and movie with an age restriction. The fact of the matter was that the date was seriously lacking any quality time which helped us to get to know each other. Do we need the face-to-face time to understand someone or can we get to know them while they hurl a bowling ball down a lane?
Truth is the face-to-face time helps you also find out if you really like the guy. You are, after all, staring at them for a couple of hours and forced to talk about stuff you never really bothered with before. But it’s this information which helps you get to grips with someone. So if this information is repetitive and the converations rarely go beyond specific topics, e.g. work, then is there much to go on?
The myth of the spark at the first kiss seems to get our hopes up but half the time we don’t want the guy to even get that close to us. So how can you tell that one person that the date just wasn’t enough and basically you’re not interested?
While if the kiss is good should more happen? What are the rules for the first date with someone you really like? Everyone has a boundary some don’t even kiss while others haven’t let the sheets cool down from the past date before the new one hops in. Is sex on the first date a no-go?
Sex on the first date can make you seem too eager or worse – too easy. However, if you’re on a date with someone you know well and maybe for a while, is sex on the cards a positive thing? How can we judge the boundary when we aren’t even sure of it ourselves, do we go with the flow or stick to our guns we made before they even picked us up?
The first date is always tricky and mostly dull if you’re on a pity date or have been backed into one by a friend. So what happens afterwards if you work or live close to the guy and you didn’t enjoy his company. Worst thing to happen is if everybody knew, you would be seen as a bitch for dumping the guy who liked you when really there was just no spark or interest there. You’ll get no sympathy or a pat on the back for actually speaking your mind and saying no rather than beginning a new relationship and leading him on.
How do you even say it? “I’m sorry this isn’t going to work?”; this is the oldest line in the book and not even “it’s not you it’s me” can save you. Truth is we are just scared to feel like the bad guy in the awkward moment when he is searching for a full blown snog and you’ve already got your door key at hand in the car.
So when it comes to dates, going can sometimes be worse than not being asked at all. We cannot win with or without them.