Dating is such a scary concept; the multiple rules attached make it even more terrifying. I’m not the best person to talk on this subject, as I’m not single, yet the thing that intrigues me is what’s known as ‘the rules’. I might be completely off base but do they still apply?
Everyone’s heard of the 3rd date rule; basically once a guy has significantly impressed you enough by parting with his money 3 times on dates, you are expected to give him what he wants…sexually. These kinds of men have surely watched too many romcoms? I’ve seen plenty of films where the female lead is getting filled in by her dating savvy friend about the 3rd date rule. Men get filled in on this rule and think they can adopt it because every woman watches romcoms. Why are certain things expected of someone at a certain time?
It’s the actual date behaviour that is minefield territory, your not supposed to share excessive details of your past, be over keen, mention your ex, order the spaghetti, get too pissed, the list goes on and on. It gives me headache just thinking about it.
It seems more is expected of the man on a date, in some cases men feel the pressure more to impress the girl because they want to seem gentlemanly. Yet, women feel the pressure to give them what they want because men feel the pressure to pay. Why can’t nobody feel the pressure and just enjoy what is to come when both of them are ready.
Then there’s the aftermath, whether to contact someone again. Analysis of the entire date has to be scrutinised with your mum, best friend, work friends, the ultimate single girl that is the ‘rules’ master. Men aren’t as arsed about deconstructing everything that happened, they are at the pub with their mates enjoying their life and will probably give you a quick mention. Technology increases the confusion further; there are so many ways to contact someone, text, call, voicemail, tweet, facebook, skype, email, instant message, and whatsapp. If someone bombards you with two of these forms of contact you know they are keen. It’s so hard to play it, whether to text back straight away or wait an hour, a day, a week?
My thoughts are there should be no pre-set rules that we have to stick by if we are not comfortable with them. Do what you feel and someone thinks you haven’t stuck to ‘the rules’ they obviously are a bit of a weirdo, you don’t base a new relationship on some half baked idea of the perfect way to act on a date.