When you start high school it feels like the clock is ticking; the countdown to being an adult has begun. Any decision you make is vital to your future and it’s very stressful especially when you’re only a teenager. It’s hard enough figuring out what you want to do with yourself but add another person into the equation and everything gets more complicated.
I’ve always been told plan your relationship around your life, not your life around your relationship. Finding love is not worth it, if you have to lose yourself in the process.
The issue is when do you insert the word ‘compromise’ into your life without losing a part of yourself?
It depends on the individual, but you have to identify yourself first to recognise what you’re willing to compromise on. I always said after university I would pack up and move abroad to Italy; fast forward nearly 3 years and I’m still living in my hometown but I’m now engaged. Would I have still lived here had I not got engaged? Who’s to know, but it’s obvious what is more important to me now.
If I were to make a life altering decision there’s another person to consult now. It’s not an issue for me but I can see how people struggle with giving up things they hope for when they were younger.
You have to ask yourself whether the life plan you started when you were young matters more than the life plan you could share with someone you have genuine love for? Life is nothing if it isn’t full of surprises, sharing it with someone is every bit as exciting as on your own.
Adding your partner into the mix can be challenging, but you have to remember everyone has an idea of what their life will be like and they are choosing to include you in it. So labelling it as an issue when you thought you would be living a different, more glamorous, exciting life is not only wrong but also insulting. I think most people would like to live somewhere hot and sunny, cocktails on tap and to have a million pounds in the bank but I know for a fact I would miss baked beans, a cup of tea, family guy, coronation street, and many other English things, plus I hate the feeling of being hungover and there is nothing like the feeling of accomplishment when you’ve saved for something and it’s yours.
Creating a life blueprint for yourself is never ending in my eyes, some people are added to it along the way, some are taken away; things are ticked off, things are crossed off. It’s just the way life is, adding a person into your plan just extends the excitement because it means you get to live two lives.