The Man Detox


It’s the New Year. Hey 2014, you’d better be a good one! I know a good few of you are going to be having something of a detox January. No alcohol, few carbs and a only the tiniest amount of sugar after the excesses and jollity of December. Cutting out caffeine? Downing the vegetable juice? Your body will bounce back in no time!

But what about a different kind of detox? Have you just come out of a long-term relationship? Maybe you were seeing someone and it’s just ended? Or maybe you just enjoy a man-buffet kind of life? Anyway, if any of the above apply to you, maybe you should consider a man detox.

“What on earth’s a man detox when it’s at home?!” I hear you cry! Why ladies, it’s the best thing that’ll ever happen to you!

It’s great to have a boyfriend or to have some kind of male attention, but it’s not the be all and end all of life. The man detox is especially great if you’ve come out of a relationship. A man detox is just a period of time for you to bounce back to yourself again. A lot of people leap from one boyfriend to another without giving themselves time to breathe. They just hop around from guy to guy, picking up little mannerisms, little insecurities, a turn of phrase or two, until they become a strange scrapbook of all the people they’ve ever dated and hey presto! They’ve lost themselves somewhere along the line.

Set aside some time for yourself, whether it be a week, a month or a year, and just be by yourself! (Scary thought? It’s really not). Take time for hobbies (No! Put that man down! He is not a hobby!) – like baking? Or running? Or playing piano? Then get out your baking tins, running shoes or settle down to tickle the ivories (get this) ALL BY YOURSELF! You may even hone or find talents that can change your future. Maybe you’ll find a new passion that fulfils you, or maybe it’ll even give you a career change?

Take yourself out by yourself. Go for a coffee and people watch, or take a walk. Read a book in the park, go to a gallery or museum. I bet you’ve forgotten how liberating it is to go out by yourself. You can do what you want when you want. Maybe *gasp* you can go shopping alone?! There’ll be no man trailing around after you moaning (put him on reins and *bam!* you’ve got a fully grown toddler). I see it now – you skipping along the street, breeze in your hair, a myriad of colourful bags swinging from your carefree hands! Now isn’t that a sight to behold?

Of course, you don’t have to do everything by yourself, gather your best girls and have a giggle, watch movies, chat and give them the time you’d have given to your boyfriend in the past. You can listen to their man problems, give them good advice now that you can see things from the outside. And you can laugh secretly to yourself that you don’t have any.

(Don’t worry, it’s not a complete rehab experience, you can still enjoy on-screen loves. Oh hi Mr. Gordon-Levitt…)

Now with man detox complete, you’ll feel yourself again. I really do believe that you’ll never be truly happy with someone until you are truly happy by yourself. Happy New Year to you all, darling readers, and I hope that 2014 brings you joy, with or without a man.