The One

The One  The One. The mystical person who is supposed to make your heart flutter and stomach flip. The enchanting soul mate that we are encouraged to spend our life searching for, the individual that all block buster films tell us will be gorgeous and smart and will pull us into whirlwind romances. That someone that our friends tell us will happen when we least expect it, the person we use to comfort ourselves after a break up. Well, what if they don’t exist?

 One of my good friends has just gotten engaged at the ripe old age of 22. Let’s start with the most important detail, the ring. It is gorgeous, a traditional gold band with a single sparkling diamond. I’m sure she secretly sits at home polishing it as I have never seen a piece of jewellery so shiny and twinkly. After an hour probing her for wedding ideas I asked a question which I felt all single girls would need to know, how is she sure that he is The One? I expected a gushing lovey answer of how she has never felt this way before, but it never came. Instead her answer was that everyone has flaws but at some point you have to be willing to make a commitment and stick with a relationship. Huh. So does this mean that if the timing is right and you are both willing to work hard, then why not get married? In fairness to her they do sound like a perfect couple, but her response is something that I would expect from a fifty year old who is sick of playing the dating game. Is it possible that The One is actually someone in the right place at the right time, not necessarily the most romantic person you’ve ever met or the one of surprises you but in fact someone who actually unique in that they present a solid opportunity to move from single to married?

 I don’t mean this to sound pessimistic as I do believe some people make great couples, like my friend, however as I get older I feel the view of romance has changed. When we were young we thought we would be swept off our feet, but now after dating a few losers and heartbreakers do we actually lean towards the person who makes us safe and who doesn’t play games. I am not saying romance is dead but perhaps it is us who are the ones that surprise ourselves by changing our hopes of who The One will really be.