This morning I decided that instead of lying in bed wishing I was asleep, I would actually get up and do some work, so I hauled my bed head over to my boyfriend’s laptop. When suddenly what had been a snoring bump under the duvet turned into a running boyfriend who lunged across the room, leaned over me and in a flurry of mouse clicks deleted his internet history. I sat astounded. Porn? I asked him knowing the answer. I knew he looked at porn, we had even watched porn together and not that I had actually told him this but I had looked at porn too (a woman has needs god dammit). So this got me thinking, is watching sexual videos or clips online and on dvd a taboo still despite the fact that now there are hundreds of television channels dedicated to it and the back of every magazine you pick up has adverts for phone sex lines, or are we in fact just private people.
Now I imagine you are sitting there thinking..well obviously not that private as you’re rambling on about it now, in fact you are verging on over sharing. So perhaps I should rephrase this slightly. When I say private I do not mean in the fact that we watch or look at porn, people are not so shy about that as it can easily be stumbled upon, especially if you’re girlfriend/boyfriend is as nosey as me. I mean that we do not want people to know the kind of porn that we watch as we worry that people will probably change their perception of us. Everyone has a different idea of what qualifies as good sex, so understandable everyone will have different ideas of what equals a good sexy video. But what if others think our preferences are weird..or they judge us, or worse what if it changes their opinion of us? To me, this very fear is the cause of the issue. If people were more open about “what they were in to” then others may realise that that doesn’t necessarily mean they want to re-enact it at home. Just because your boyfriend watches extra-large jugs girls gone wild do not mean he is going to replace you with a busty babe or that he will want you to start pushing your breasts into his face. It may just be a fantasy or a bit of fun. After all, just because we go on holiday to a tropical island does not mean we want to live there full time. So maybe if we all try to be a little bit more open about what tickles our fancy, then our internet histories will stop being burden and start being a way to making a relationship more honest.