Unlike most single teenage girls, my Friday night partner included a good movie and a take-out box. The party scene being only a few miles away just isn’t appealing – throwing up in gutters after only a handful of cocktails.
Being “unsocial” has been claimed as a crime when it comes to teenagers – which a night in with a girlfriend or a Chinese deserves jail time. I would have a life sentence. I was the reason for being single. Most teenaged girls chanced their nights with anyone if it included good sex and a free drink, but my lifestyle choices are stuck behind bars.
So when it comes to my relationships, is it okay to be different?
Of course not falling upstairs in five-inch Jimmy Choo heels is always possible but making the effort should be necessary. It’s the effort I lacked even when I knew it had good intentions ie a free drink and a phone number and possibly a date.
Dating was not my favourite activity – the idea of being with someone was far more desirable than actually doing it. So why is it that us girls dream of having a partner but dislike actually getting one? I think the daydream of the relationship runs more smoothly than one in reality ever could. You would always have your way and he would take the rap for everything, you would have fabulous dates in high class restaurants and have amazing sex to polish the night off.
There would be no if’s ands or but’s just plain sailing from North to South and you’d just enjoy the ride.
Is it these ideas of self indulgence of romance that kills our expectations? Are we failing before we even start? The self nourished idea of you and he in your mind will differ incredibly between reality and your fantasy. So would you dump him on the street after he didn’t say what you dreamt he would say or kissed you where you wanted? How far would your fantasy stretch before your love life ended because men aren’t mind readers?
Men don’t know what their doing themselves, playing their game by their own rules like Vegas Blackjack dealers. All the while women try to ruffle their cards and earn their chips. So are we better off with reality or can we survive better in our fantasies?
The truth of it is that we will always indulge in our fantasies but those alone with see you on a sofa bed watching Marley and Me with a good Chinese with tissues on the floor. Your reality will keep you from crying alone. So why do we let ourselves cry alone with Owen Wilson?
“Men are so much nicer in my mind – my mental boyfriend is nothing like my real boyfriend”
“We all want men like on TV – hot, sexy and confident but we’ll never get anything that good.”
Why do we feel the need to dream our date rather than live it? Are we afraid of what might happen or worse are we afraid to even try?