When is it right to say the ‘L’ word?

Just the other day someone asked me when the right time was for them to say “I love you” to their partner, and for the first time I was a little stuck for an opinion. The main reason, because I have never really thought of if the time was right, I have just thought of when I felt like saying it.    

In the above statement I make it sound very simple to say I love you, but it isn’t, it’s a daunting prospect, especially if it’s the first time you will have said it, but there comes a point in most relationships where you’re either going to make that step, or realize this relationship isn’t something you want for the long term. Saying the ‘L’ word is something some people try and rush, but sometimes it isn’t about rushing you in to loving someone, it’s about enjoying getting to know them in an intimate way, about discovering new things about them, and learning about your new partnership. I’m not pretending that every person is the same, but I feel that all too often today people rush in to love, and babies and marriage, and all to quickly realize it was a mistake, and it will end in divorce (please don’t think I mean all relationships).

When we first start going out with people, for me some of the best fun comes in the getting to know each other stage, for example, when I was with my partner, we used to just drive in to the middle of nowhere and talk about each other about what we have experienced, and it’s un-believable how much you discover about someone when you just sit there with them and talk, and often that is then that you start to realize you might actually love this person.  It is when you know things about their life, their experiences, and what they’re about as a person that you see how much you care.

Someone once told me that within seven seconds of meeting someone you make a decision of whether you like them or not, and whilst this is probably true, it takes longer than seven seconds to get to know someone, and it probably takes longer than one week. What is essential in a relationship is to be patient, don’t rush something, because sooner or later it will either be there, or it won’t, either way, you will know if you love someone.

So, when is it right to say the ‘L’ word….  I am still not sure, because we’re all different, what I will say is, you will know when it’s right, because it will just happen.


Sean Bromley