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Why lying to your partner never works…. even if you think it’s for the right reasons

Relationships can only survive with two ingredients, love and trust, and if one of these is missing, then it is likely you will find yourself single very soon.  So why is it, we still lie to our partners, and put all elements of trust in doubt.  
Relationships are complex things, at a time when we’re sending people to space and cloning people, we still haven’t got a clue how to perfect a relationship. There is a way to get them right, but it takes a lot of hard work, determination, love, and of course, trust, so it’s such a shame when you see a perfect relationship fail because someone has taken it upon themselves to lie, and make their partner doubt their trust.  It does happen, and then the inevitable will of course follow, being single!

Is the single life fun?  No, you might think it is for a week, but eventually you realize that waking up in a double bed alone is actually quite boring, and very lonely, but by lying we bring these things on ourselves, and we always have the same excuse for lying ‘I didn’t want to hurt or upset you by telling you’.  Well there is a very simple cure to this, don’t commit an act that you need to lie about.  If you need to lie about something, then it is almost certainly something that will upset your partner, if it’s going to upset your partner why would you want to do it?  Relationships need respect, and if you respect your partner then it is best to not do something that will upset them. Relationships are about give and take, and at times we will all lie about something, such as using the last of the milk, or eating the last chocolate bar in the fridge.  There is a fine line between a white lie, and a serious lie, if you think it’s something that will upset your partner, then it’s worth thinking twice about.

Before lying to your partner you really have to question the importance of your relationship, is it less important than what you need to lie about, is this lie worth the chance that you might lose your relationship, but more important than anything, do you love your partner enough to lie to them?  Because if you can lie to your partner, then it’s inevitable that your partner will question how much you really love them.

Once you have committed to lying to your partner there is no way back, it is a slippery slope, and inevitably, this lie will only get bigger the longer it goes on, and one day, it will come out, and it will be worse than you ever thought it was, and that lonely double bed, and those quiet nights in alone, they will drag like never before, and they will hurt harder than ever before, and when you’re lying in that double bed alone, you will always know that there was one person to blame, yourself, and you will always ask the same question, why did you lie?

 

Sean Bromley



3 Comments

  1. Zara says:

    Oh are we cloning people now? I had no idea ;)
    Welcome to lovescene Sean!

    I hear what you’re saying about the lying and I agree. Love and trust come hand in hand. But your take on being single has me with my hands on my hips and knitted eyebrows :D

    I am single (surprise surprise), and after about five months of being single, I have found that I am so much more productive than I was in a relationship. Of course its different for everybody, but single life can be just as fun, interesting and fulfilling as being part of a couple. It just depends on the individual’s approach to life.

    However, when you are in a relationship with someone, there is a one major difference, and that is that you are not the single selfish individual anymore, and therefore its only fair that you treat your partner fairly and with the same respect you would expect back from them.

    Don’t lie to your loved ones people – it’ll only end in tears.

    Zara (One of Lovescene’s Carrie Bradshaws)
    x

  2. Sean Bromley says:

    hi Zara,

    My take on single life implies to the life you will lead straight after a split, i am commenting on how people feel when the relationship ends. Whilst i agree you are now happier, it has been five months, that feeling didn’t just happen, the point i am looking to make is that people will feel very empty when that relationship finishes, and will ask themselvs questions of why they lied.

    I do however agree that been single can be fun for people :)

  3. Pretty nice post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed browsing your blog posts. In any case I’ll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you write again soon!

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