Will a Proposal Ruin Your Relationship

engagementI logged onto Facebook yesterday for my daily dose of being nosey. I was greeted by several posts referring to a girl from my year at school who had just gotten married in the local castle. She had also hired an owl. Right. Upon seeing this I mentioned it to a group of friends later that day and the subject invariable turned to what we would do if our current partners popped the almighty question to us. My first friend muttered something about his girlfriend calling him gay whenever he tried to be romantic. My next friend said that if her boyfriend, of only 7 months, proposed then she would say yes and she would worry that he would never ask her again. I could tell by the hesitation in her voice that this was a situation that she never wanted to arise. This was confirmed by ramblings of “we would definitely have a long engagement and if I said no it may be awkward.”

Hmm. This leads me to wonder, is there ever a good way to turn down a proposal? Does ‘No’ always translate to never and if you don’t feel ready to say yes, is your relationship damaged beyond repair? I thought about what I would do if my boyfriend asked the dreaded question. I suppose you never know until you are faced head on with the question, all I could hope is that he would never ask me in front of anyone we knew just in case I did want to say no.

It is hard to imagine a situation in which a rejected proposal did not change your relationship; wouldn’t it always be the elephant in the room? In the worst case scenario, ok not the worst as I feel that would involve screaming and police being called, say you did then break up…would this event go on your relationship CV? Would you forever be the person who was proposed to/who asked their ex to marry them? Turned down and tarnished. It seems all really isn’t fair in love and war after all.