The 5 Most Annoying Shop Assistants

sales assistantFollowing reports that people still prefer to shop in physical stores, rather than online – I was immediately inspired to share why I feel exactly the opposite. And the main culprit? Shop assistants.


The stalking shop assistant

You will often notice this type of shop assistant firstly from your peripheral vision, keeping a watchful eye on your every move. If you up skittle a pile of jeans trying to find your size, said shop assistant will secretly lurk sheepishly around rails waiting for you to move on, only to pounce on the muddled pile and painstakingly arrange back into an orderly fashion.


The surly, downright useless shop assistant

“Do you have this in a small?” Shop assistant looks me up and down. “If it’s not out, we don’t have it.” Let’s see: you’re standing by the changing room gossiping with your other equally incompetent “colleague” and your shop is empty. This may not be Chanel, but you can at least look like you’re interested in helping. I recently walked into Next and asked an assistant for the serial code of the item I had wanted to purchase but was not in stock. To which she said: “Okay, do you have a pen and paper?” Honestly, why not just introduce self-service checkouts and save yourself the bother.


The fake shop assistant

“Ohmygodohmygod, those look SO amazzzzing on you.” No, they’re two sizes too small and they’re giving me double muffin top. False flattery in a changing room will get you nowhere. If you can’t say anything genuine or constructive I suggest you stick to the age old adage of simply saying nothing at all.


The sales obsessed shop assistant

We all know the kind. They pounce on you with tempting discounts secretly disguised as store cards, insist on trying to sell you stilettos when you came in for a scarf and find it increasingly hard to deviate from their pre-written script. These robots of retail are best avoided!


The arrogant shop assistant

Otherwise known as, “the pretty woman experience’’ where said shop assistant feels it quite acceptable to inflate their own ego all because they work in a so call branded shop. What’s with the attitude?  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it three hundred times; everyone has the right to browse whether they’re intending on buying or just looking. As Vivian Ward said to the conceited big-headed assistant who served her; “big mistake.”