There isn’t a person alive who hasn’t felt the overt urge to wring their partner’s neck after s/he made an insensitive comment/left the toilet seat up/lost their temper over something minor.
Read on to find out how you can avoid the most common arguments.
1. Money. Arguing about money is very common amongst couples from all walks of life and unfortunately it can tear a relationship apart. If one person is a ‘saver’ and the other likes to spend, it is perfect breeding ground for a tumultuous clash of lifestyles.
The key is to discuss your attitude towards money right before your relationship gets serious. That way, there are no surprises and you can make steps to finding a middle ground for both of your lifestyles.
2. Work stress. Working life in London is tough. Take the commute, the underground and the pressure to meet deadlines and targets and you’ve got one very stressed out person. Stress at work often leads to stress at home with couples taking out their frustrations on one another.
If your partner takes out his/her anger on you try not to retaliate immediately. Most people need a few moments alone when they arrive home from work so avoid talking incessantly about your day straight away. If you wait a while and speak with a calm, soothing voice, the atmosphere will be far more relaxed for the both of you. A glass of wine already waiting for them won’t go amis either!
3. Schedules. ‘So much to do and so little time’ If you’ve ever uttered this phrase, then you’ll know what it’s like to stick to a schedule. The pressure of doing so can often manifest itself in to stress which then results in to arguments. Try to plan ahead but know that if things don’t go according to plan, it’s not the end of the world either. The best moments are often when things go awry and off schedule. Spontaneity is a great aphrodisiac too…just a thought.
4. Housework. If you live together, you’re bound to see another side of one another and lazyness is usually prevalent in many households. Arguing over cleaning is as common as muck (sorry) and can lead to bigger arguments.
To avoid such a dispute, communication is again, the key to happiness – and a clean house. There are certain hoousehold duties which some people simply detest doing i.e. the ironing. IF your partner hates doing something, it is futile to expect him to do it anyway. Instead, offer him a task you are not so fond of and find a compromise. Rotas can be slightly forced and restrictive so try not to have anything in black and white. Verbal agreements can work just as well.
5. Sex. Some people don’t think they’re getting enough whils others think their partner wants it too much. Whatever the reason, sex can sometimes be more of a hindrance than a help. It is of course important to rmember that there is not a ‘normal’ frequency for sex in relationships so avoid comapring your sex life to your best friends/neighbours/cat’s mother. Talking about sex is often a great substitute for foreplay and can proffer a great start to a resolution.
6. Boredom. You’ve been together for a while and everything is going smoothly; there isn’t a cloud in start. So what do you do? You create one. This is often known as ‘bickering’ and occasionally lends itself well as a bit of excitement but if one of you is a drama queen, the bickering can very easily metamorphosise in to a full blown argument which is certainly not sexy. Know where to draw the line, or you could find that the line has been drawn under you.
7. The past. We all have one and we all regret certain things that are in it. The past is often brought in to arguments when someone is worried that it can affect their present or future. If your partner happens to have behaved completely differently to the way they behave now, it is normal to feel slightly worried that they may revert back to that person eventually.
There is absolutely no reason why you should know everything about your partner’s past. People evolve all the time and who they are with you is who they are. If I had a pound for each time someone crigned at a past mistake or act, I’d be writing this from my yacht right now.
8. Compatibility. There may be fireworks in the bedroom but if your views on touchy subjects such as religion and politics differ too much, there may be trouble down the line. Either keep a neutral stance when subjects are broached or avoid the subjects altogether. That way, you get to keep that all important element of peace.
9. Blame. When things go wrong, it’s easy (and convenient) to blame your partner. After all, you’ve known them for ages, you know they love you and they’re not going anywhere, right? Wrong. Taking your partner for granted is a common mistake and results in many single people who just didn’t know ‘where they went wrong’. Remember that you and your partner are a team and you’ve chosen to be together.
10. Selfishness. Every one is selfish to a certain degree; we know this much. However, possessing an unwillingness to listen to the other person at all is highly unattractive and downright rude.
The easiest way to avoid an argument? Give and take. You love that person, right? You want to be with that person, right? So listen to that person. Your life is easier in an instant; why, it’s like magic.
In a fast paced city such as London, life is already hard enough. Some arguments are inevitable and can even be healthy but if you have a loving partner to share your experiences with; you’re lucky. Nurture that person and you’ll soon realise that there is no need for unnecessary drama and arguments. Save the fireworks for the place it matters most…the garden on November 5th.
(image courtesy of selfchi.com)