Starting a new relationship brings excitement, butterflies and the unknown, the start of a new adventure with a person who you really want to get to know better. What a new relationship should not bring is drama and his ex!
In some relationships there is sometimes an unstable ex lurking very near by, too near, which makes the adventure less fun. It brings unnecessary hassle and at the same time makes you question whether you want to be involved with a guy who still has unfinished business with an ex.
Often, we accept our partner being friends with their exes, as we are mature enough to understand that males and females can still be friends with an ex if that is how their relationship began. However, if he was fully finished with his ex then surely she would not still be calling or texting at silly hours, leaving messages on his facebook and surely he would not be trying to hide this.
Too many times I have heard friends speaking of their partners ex and even I myself have been in an early stage of a relationship where I knew all about his ex. This did not seem right to me, as an ex is called ‘an ex’ for a reason! For a partner to be bringing their baggage into a fresh relationship puts a strain on you, as well as himself. Their relationship should be in the past and you should be in the present.
As much as we may get angry at the ex and assume that she is doing all the chasing, we have to take into account his actions also. It is up to the individual to clearly state that a relationship is over and it is for him to make clear that he is involved in a new one. Sometimes men can be very naughty and go back and forth between an ex and a new partner. It may be necessary for you to take yourself out of the equation and make it clear that before a new relationship begins, he has to tie up all his loose ends.
As women we should not make do with the circumstances we are given or put our own happiness aside to please a partner. If you are unhappy his ex is still visible then voice your feelings. Would he be happy if your ex was causing hassle? More importantly do not chase him if he keeps running back to his ex, as something better is coming along for you. Embracing the unexpected can often take us to places we never imagined we could go!
Time itself is precious, so do not waste it on someone who does not realise that you are too!