Female Man-tra

Samantha JonesSamantha Jones once said “I love you, but I love me more” and questioned whether loving a man meant saying his name “50 times more a day than she does her own.”


Yes, Samantha is a ballsy character from an iconic TV show, complete with an unspeakable bank balance and enviable wardrobe, but her man-tra is something I believe every woman can, and should relate to. She knows who and what she wants, and would rather looks after her own needs before that of any man.


We’ve all been guilty of the goo goo gah gahs; the stage at the beginning of a relationship, where your fella can leave the loo seat up, coat your favourite bowl in Weetabix and even use your toothbrush when he forgets his own. This is also the stage where his name crops up in 80% of the conversation.


“Oh he would love this.”


He and went there once”


“Oh that’s what he sometimes calls me!”


The list of a lover’s name-drops is almost as long as Samantha’s little black book of conquests. But does talking about your man actually reflect how much you heart him? Or does it annoy your very own Carrie, Miranda and Charlotte? I say do as Samantha would, and take a one month stand of putting the other great loves of your life in the driving seat, such as your career, health and friendships.


You career is never going to let you down, or wake up tomorrow and say ‘actually Kelly, this writing thing isn’t working for us anymore, but it’s really not you, it’s me.’  So why not show it some loving attention for being so loyal, and talk about it with your friends, fella and any passer-by that will listen.


I believe that modern women should put their own happiness in front of finding Mr Right, and that too much emphasis is placed upon finding him while the Countdown theme tune plays constantly in your head. That way, when the ideal man does saunter in to my life he won’t be my entire life, as my career, friends and general self-esteem will be sky high from everything else I have and can achieved. Don’t get me wrong, being in love is one of life’s greatest gifts, but to let another person take over your own needs and wants can zap the natural spark which love gave you in the first place.


My last relationship saw me putting all the focus on to him; what he was doing that weekend, how he felt and how he would react knowing I wanted him to get serious with me. Now, at 27, I look back and almost cringe at how weak and narrow minded I really was. I am no Samantha by any means, if anything I am a little bit of Carrie with a huge dollop of Charlotte, but her attitude to self-worth and her career is something I admire and aspire to be like.


Being loved up can make you utterly happy, but the most important relationship you will ever have is the one with yourself, and guess what, it’s never too late to start that love affair.


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