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First Blind Dates

blind datesFirst dates are hard enough but what if your first date is a blind one?  First the usual precautions:

 

♥ Wear something conservative.  Tick.

♥ Make sure your heels aren’t so big that you can’t get away quickly should you require.  Tick.

♥ Arrange to meet someone familiar and public with plenty of taxis waiting in the vicinity and no deviating from the plan.  Tick.

♥ Let someone reliable know where you are meeting your blind date and that you’ll ring them when you’re home safe.  Tick.

♥ Arrange a get out call from a friend should you need an excuse to end the date sooner than expected and amicably.  Tick.

♥ Take some cash so that you can at least offer to split the bills.  Tick.

♥ Take additional cash to ensure a hassle free, elegant ending to the night whereby you go home in a taxi alone.  Tick. There’s nothing sophisticated about running to the cash point after bidding him farewell.  It also risks him following you to the cash point to be a gentleman but you have then deviated from your plan.  Keep it organised, keep it safe and leave him wanting more.

 

OK.  So that’s your safety and flexibility dealt with.  What about your sanity?

 

One of the important things to remember about a blind date is that you need to be tolerant.  Tolerant to their physical appearance and tolerant to their personality.  At the end of the day you have agreed to go on a date with someone who has no idea who you are and vice versa.  You both deserve to be treated well and that means being respectful, polite and patient no matter what your internal dialogue is saying.  No walking out on the person the moment you get there and see they’re not your type… at all!  To knock someone’s self-esteem like that is just mean.  What goes around comes around and you should always treat people as you would like to be treated.

 

If you get there and they are not attractive to you, that does not mean they are not the one for you.  Sometimes you can’t see how attractive someone is until you get to know them and love who they are internally.  Then, one day you might begin to find them attractive.  You need to be attracted to your partner for it to last but what you find attractive changes as time goes by in your life and as you get to know a person.  Sometimes this can be because we have a superficial idea in our minds about what we would find attractive in our ‘ideal man’.  Sometimes the person you ideally want to connect with mentally does not come in the package we expect it to or hope for.  A loving man who makes you laugh and really gets you may not be tall, muscular and look like Johnny Depp.  That’s just how it is.

 

So you’ve greeted your blind date and now it’s time to talk.  In many ways it’s an easier first date with someone that you’ve never met or spoken to before than someone you’ve gotten to know a little via a friend or internet dating.  You can ask any question in the world because you haven’t asked it yet and so there are plenty of ways to approach the evening.

 

Personally, humour is the key.  If you can have a laugh with your blind date the whole evening will be breezier, even if you never meet again.  For some being funny comes naturally, for others it takes more effort.  It does also depend on who you’re with.  Sometimes you can naturally bounce jokes off one another.  If you struggle to carry a conversation with strangers then you can always memorise a list of questions to ask.  You can even stash some questions into your purse and check the list when you pop to the bathroom.

 

When it comes to asking questions freshen the tired old routines up a little by thinking outside the box to create some humour.  Remember to ask questions that will help you to establish a common ground, if there is one.  By doing so this can then lead on to a much more in depth conversation and thus reduce the risk of uncomfortable silences.  For example, asking what their favourite top 5 films are is a great one and can then lead into discussions of favourite actors, genres, nostalgic childhood movies you love, etc.  Do think of questions that will invoke a positive response and one that won’t lead to a morbid or tiring conversation.  You don’t want to kill the fun and romance before it’s even started.  Lastly, by directing the conversation away from yourselves it can relieve tension.  You can do this by playing a guessing game whereby you guess the back story of other patrons in the venue of your first date or telling a funny story about someone you know.

 



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