Hey Big Pretender


false pretencesGirl meets boy, boy likes girl, girl kisses boy, boy sends nice texts, girl experiences fairy tale-esque feelings, boy turns in to a frog; the search for a prince continues. This sequence is second nature to a mid-twenties woman like me, and it seems I’m not the only female of the species who possesses the annoying ability to jump on the emotional runaway train headed for Fantasyville, when our feelings clearly never meet the minimum height restrictions.


When you arrive in this make believe town; where you convince yourself that his inability to reply to your texts really does mean he is busy, you find yourself pretending that everything is peachy keen, while the pit of your stomach deals with reality. I’ll hold my hands up high and admit that this happens to me on a regular basis; perhaps an obsession with the whimsical world of Moulin Rouge and a vendetta to get Katy and Russell back together may have something to do with it, but I find myself forward planning what the future has not even set out for the relationship.


Expecting the best out of every romantic encounter is a double edged sword, and one wrong idea can see you splitting up and possibly nursing a not so pretty love wound. We all want to see the best in people, but when it comes to love those rose tinted spectacles become a permanent facial fixture; before you know it every love song and romantic film flashes before your eyes like a Vanilla Sky montage on speed.


I recently met a guy who really was too good to be true; I became blinded by his dream lifestyle and somehow pencilled myself in to the second chapter before the first one had even been written. I then took to using my creative skills to spin many a lie to my girls about just how fine I felt with him not wanting anything serious. Truth is I did want more than a quick horizontal jog, but fear had me pretending that I could be breezier than Paris Hilton on a good day.


They say you should always follow your gut, and as scary a prospect as that may be, it sure beats putting on a façade about how picture perfect your relationship is. As women we do deserve banter of texts, to feel comfortable putting our feelings on the line and not to be portrayed as bunny boilers if we actually like a guy.


If you have to pretend your relationship is more Katie and Cruise, when it resembles Katie and Peter, then quit being a big pretender and spend a little time accepting the reality of the situation; we’re far too amazing to settle for second best.


1 Comment

  1. Zee says:

    sigh! That sounds like imaginary love and i must admit that it happens quite frequently.