A wise man once said that between 60-70% of all communication is non-verbal. In other words, our gestures, expressions, mannerisms and movements are talking the entire time – even if our mouths are shut.
If you are a non English speaker who happens to find themselves out on a first date; in a young relationship; with a new friend or you’re simply trying to impress someone, read on to find how with the right moves, you can still get the right message across with as few words as possible.
Your head is the part of your body that the person you’re with will be looking at the entire time so any movement will be noticed pretty much immediately.
If you tilt your head to one side slightly, this shows that you are interested in the person or the thing you are looking at. You could try this as the other person is talking about something that they’re interested in, throw in a subtle smile and you’re on to a winner!
Keep your head up as opposed to lowering it towards the floor as this signifies negativity. A raised head can portray a positive attitude towards the person and the situation. All those rappers weren’t lying when they said ‘Keep ya head up!’
Touching your ear can tell someone that you are being dishonest and anxious about something so save your ears for listening only and keep your hands off!
Naturally, when listening to someone, you want to nod as the person is talking to show that you are interested in what they are saying but if you start bobbing your head erratically with every single word they’re saying, you will come across as insincere…and you’ll look kinda weird too.
If you are a woman, stroking your hair will show that you are feeling sexy and are definitely interested in the other person. This message is also transmitted through a slight parting of your lips.
Have you ever heard the adage ‘The eyes are the window to the soul?’ If you haven’t, then you’re erm…lucky as it’s been well over used. There is, however some truth in cliché phrases and your eyes are probably the most important and overt communicator in the world of non verbal language.
You want to look the person in the eyes without making them feel uncomfortable with a harsh stare. You could try looking in to their eyes whilst intermittently averting your eyes.
There are times when you have no control of your eyes and if they brighten or widen, this will tell the person that you are definitely interested in them. Short of permanently wearing sunglasses, there’s no getting away from this.
When you’re sat opposite the person, ensure your eyes are fixed on them or around them. Looking all around the room or worse, over their shoulder is a sure fire way of telling them that they are boring you and you’re looking for stimulation from elsewhere.
Blinking incessantly signifies nerves. If you want to appear confident and self assured, keep the fluttering to a minimum.
If you are a man and you want to let that all important woman that you are liking what you see, a slight narrowing of your eyes should do the trick.Just be careful not to look as if you’re suffering from a weird squint.
BODY, ARMS AND HANDS
Many of us use our hands and arms as part of communicating, particularly if you are mediterranean. Most of the time, this is positive, unless you happen to accidentally smack your date in the face…ooops.
Whatever you do, do not sit with your arms folded. This is an obvious sign that you are uncomfortable with the sitation and you are feeling defensive. Keep your arms by your side so signify a relaxed attitude…the last person you want to resemble is an angry headmistress.
Keeping the palms of your hands showing instead of keeping your hands face down, shows that you are an open person who is honest and willing to talk.
Never point your finger (or indeed a knife) whilst talking as this portrays aggression.
No matter how bad a habit you may have, resist the urge to bite your fingernails. Unless you want the person you’re with to think that you’re a nervous wreck.
Touching your chest subtly implies honesty…just don’t over rub
If you really want to let the person you’re with know that you’re interested in them, a slight touch of their leg or knee will serve as a definitive sign. Just be sure that you actually like them first!
FEET AND LEGS
When sitting down, pointing your legs towards the person shows that you are interested in them, whilst pointing them away from the person gives the complete opposite message.
Relaxed muscles whilst sitting cross legged indicate a person who is comfortable and relaxed.
Never bounce or tap your foot as the other person is talking. This suggests boredom and anxiety…and is downright annoying.
Walking at a normal pace with a straight back will show that you are confident and self assured.
Remember, some body language is voluntary, whilst some isn’t. If you genuinely like someone, most of your body should do the hard part whilst you can concetrate on the aspects that you can control. The most important sign of all is an honest smile…if you can that down to a tee, you’re home dry.