It is probably easier said than done to, “get over it” or to “not think about it too much”. When it is a friend who is going through a bad break up or who has a few guy issues, we often wave it away, forgetting how hard it was when we were in a similar situation.
Sometimes we do not mean to seem uninterested when a friend is talking about her problems, and all we want to do is tell her about the new shoes we bought or the new guy that we cannot stop drooling over! It is in times like these, however, that we have to put ourselves, ‘in her shoes’, so to speak. We have to sit there, no matter how long it takes, to be a shoulder to cry on or an ear to be ranted at.
It is our duty to share the calories from the tub of ice cream and to have a monster hangover from the wine we drank down. As a friend we do not moan about having the same conversation for the fifteenth time about her ex or the guy who did not return her affections, we simply smile and nod, feeling glad that at least she is opening up rather than bottling emotions up.
There could be weeks, even months or years, of having teary conversations on the phone, seeing her cry after her ninth glass of wine or listening to her complain about how he has moved on, but that should not matter. While we are ‘in her shoes’ we have to remember how we were or could be. A friend is more than a shopping buddy or someone to go out with, they are your support.
Friends see each other at their high points and also low, and it is especially within the low points that friendships are strengthened.
So next time you think to yourself, “not this again”, when a friend is talking about a guy she likes, try to put yourself in her shoes, as you may need her help at some point.