Just Tell Lies

sexy milk manI might have said it before, but I am one for women’s rights. I’ll argue a point until my face turns blue if a member of the opposite sex tries to be funny about it. Lately though, my patience is wearing thin. More and more I am coming across a group of women who deserve to be stuck up for as much as that creepy guy who you know definitely has a body in his basement. They are women with no morals, no dignity, no shred of self respect. Psychopaths is what I think we call them. I’m not talking about women who have been around the block a few times, I wave at those girls as they go past. Wishing I had the carefree nature they do.


No, I’m actually talking about head cases. We’ve all been prone to a spot of craziness when it comes to a man. ‘Oh I didn’t know you worked here! What a coincidence!’ or ‘I’m sorry, that text message was meant for someone else’ but that is teenage craziness. Now that I’m in my early twenties, hearing stories like I will soon mention is just down right petrifying.


I’ve spoke about my mate Alistair before. When he gets involved with someone he could not be more honest about what he wants out of the encounter. This seems like a rarity from the male species, at least in my experience. A girl knows what she is getting herself in for, so there is no way she can complain if things go south. There’s no way she can go crazy right? Wrong. ‘I want to have children with you’, ‘I’m sorry I left you waiting on my doorstep so long I didn’t get your text… oh I’m lying I totally did’, ‘I lost my virginity last night… I never really, I just wanted to see what your reaction would be’. You thought I was being dramatic by using the word psycho didn’t you?


Then there’s another mate of mine, Anthony. He’s a postman. On one of his rounds a woman came out of her door and chased him down the street because she wanted him to come inside.


These aren’t even women in their early twenties like myself. These are middle-aged women. Some of them successful, good-looking women. Why do they turn out like this? Do they not realise it is not going to make any man want them anymore. There are a few more cringe worthy tales but I won’t go into them. It’s sad to find myself telling my male friends to not be honest with women, it really does not get them anywhere. It’s also sad that these women are part of what I have been sticking up for most of my life. And it’s horrifying to think this might happen to me one day. Then again I’d never run after a postman. I’d make it a milkman at the very least.