After a break-up there are typically some leftover feelings and questions that you can’t help but try and answer: Is this for the best? Can I really live without him? Did we do the right thing in breaking up? They’re natural queries that everyone experiences. Breaking up with someone can sometimes be a life-changing event that it takes a long time to come to terms with; although eventually, you will come to terms with it and everything will eventually fall back into place, just how it was before.
A few months ago, some rather nasty information was revealed to me about my long-term boyfriend that resulted in him turning out to be a cheat, and me allegedly being a crazy stalker type person (at least, that’s what he told the girl he was cheating on me with). It goes without saying that we broke up, and that I picked myself up off the floor, pieced my heart back together and moved on.
Now, six months after the blessed break-up, I’m finally over all my questions and doubts and can confirm it was most definitely the right decision to walk away; this attitude is unfortunately not one my ex seems to have and now, after all the slanging-matches and insults, he’s come crawling back. Which has led to me asking this question: why are there some people who always want to keep their foot in the door?
I’ve recently come to the conclusion that no matter how hard you try and break the chains binding you to that ex (you know, the ex that everyone always tries to get away from, but very few succeed in escaping!), there may always be a way for them to clamber back into your life. Is it them realising what they’ve lost? Have they changed their ways? Are they a completely different person, someone worthy of being with now? Wonderful as these ideas might seem – they’re doubtful! Unfortunately people don’t change at the drop of a hat – although that’s not to say that people never change, because some do manage it. The likeliness is that they have a case of “the lonely ex” and they’re looking for someone to help: BANG, there you are again, and believe me, I speak about this rather depressing topic with a little too much personal experience behind me.
Recently, someone informed me that “getting back with your ex is like taking a shower and then putting your dirty underwear back on”, and at the time, it seemed like a ridiculous analogy. However since then, my ex has come crawling back (and somehow managed to bring another ex along with him!) and now, I’m inclined to agree with the idea. Some people will always try and keep their foot in the door because they believe that through determination and persistence, you’ll let them in (again!); the thing you need to always remember is why you kicked them out the door in the first place. And, instead of asking yourself whether you did the right thing when you broke up with them or not, try asking a new set of questions: Do I really want to go through this again? Is it worth repeating all the pain? Don’t I deserve better?
Simple: yes, you do deserve better. So lock the door, and go find something/someone worth having rather than hanging on to recycled emotions and retro heartaches!