I have always wanted a boyfriend but have often been single. My earliest daydreams include having someone to hold my hand, play happy families with and be the grateful recipient of hugs. When I am single I can’t walk through Marks and Spencer’s men’s section without my heart breaking. I have had boyfriends that have consumed me so much so that when it ends I grieve not only for the lost relationship, but myself. There are perhaps deeper issues that I have worked through, which I would not bore anyone with (except that nice person from Samaritans) but the general things I have learnt are as follows:
1. Do not care too much at the start.
When I first met Sean, my boyfriend, I was dating another person who had been fobbing me off with excuse after excuse not to see me. I was in a position where I did not care at all what Sean thought of me. I did not text him after our first date, I cancelled our second one, and effectively was hard to get.
2. But do not act aloof, as so to put him off.
I told Sean I would like to stay in touch as friends. Some MSNing, texting and one meeting up for a drink later he took me on a surprise date: to my favourite restaurant and to see one of my favourite musicians. We now count this date as being the anniversary of our relationship.
3. Do not always follow your heart.
I thought that choosing Sean was following my head, when I wanted to follow my heart and go for the man who did not show an interest in me. But from our first date onwards I knew that Sean and I had lots in common, he was caring, generous and smart, I could get drunk and dance with him, we could giggle a lot and go on an ill-fated search for a city centre park open at night so that he could get his countryside fix, and that he always called when he said he would. I just needed the time to realise all of this, and I am thankful we both gave each other that time.
In conclusion, my advice to anyone who keeps ending up alone and unhappy is: stop, look at that boy in your life that always gets looked over, and say, let’s be friends.