It serves me right for having written my last article. I should have kept my metaphoric mouth firmly shut and continued to live in the ignorant bliss that I was enjoying…
Now I find my ‘perfect’ relationship was not always so perfect, that my perfect guy was not so and here I am, once again, within a fractured relationship… Of course I could walk away as I did last time, but for now at least my heart has persuaded my head to utter the magic word of togetherness and so we proceed – with caution!
My predicament of the last week has got me to thinking about relationship ideals and how we often begin with a hard and fast set of rules as we embark upon our pathways of love… We know what we want and what we will not withstand. So how can it be that so many people end up in relationships whereby these ideals appear to have fallen by the wayside?
No-one imagines putting up with one half of what they often do. I know of nobody who can look back on a lengthy relationship and say it has been problem free, but I do wonder how many of these encountered problems would have been deal breakers had they been predicted before they actually occurred.
If someone breaks your rules should you walk on this very basis, even when you know that your heart will follow suit in breaking into a million pieces the moment you turn your back?
Is it not true that once we are in a relationship – with all the emotional entanglement that is customary – these ideals often blend and mould with what we are dealt? Do we not at times adjust the parameters of perfection to keep a hold of the one we love? Is it strength or weakness? Or neither? Is perfection a mirage? Or do so many of us settle well below its dizzy, but very real heights?
To a greater or lesser degree, I think many of us can admit to compromising aspects of our love agendas when we never thought we would. I know I have and I am not sure what I feel about having done so right now…
Is jumping ship each time your idyllic vision skews the better person’s strategy? Or are such people destined to live a life of loneliness – albeit a safe one in their Ivory Towers?
Are relationships about taking the rough with the smooth and persevering? I suppose it depends on how rough it gets and how smooth you need/like/want it…
And therein lies the turmoil that many of us will face within the complexity that is love. Whether it is not true if it doesn’t sparkle every day then I do not know. Whether it should never hurt or be questioned I have little idea. And whether it will ever feel like it once did – I can only hope!
Right now I want to believe that not being perfect doesn’t make something worthless and that working through problems can make a relationship a stronger and better place to be.
I shall no doubt keep you posted on that.