Ramblings of a First Time Dater

couple holding handsEntering the dating scene, so far, has been relatively painless but wildly confusing. I’ve always been one for dating within childhood friendship groups – you have the safety of knowing who they are, where they’re from, what they do, what they’re like – but I’ve recently branched out to meet up with ‘strangers’.


At first I was and still am terrified to be honest. I have no idea what I’m expected to say or do and the advice “just be yourself” can only go so far to calm the nerves. Perhaps I’m over-thinking it like I always do and I’m wrong to have preconceived ideas that it will be as easy as the dating world depicted in Sex And The City… Who knows! I hope my innocence to dating is obvious.


I’ve never accepted dates from ‘strangers’ ever since I’ve had to endure some very awkward situations:


A bus journey into my university campus with a loud and determined man. I believe the phrase “FUCK THE TECHNICALITIES AND GO OUT WITH ME” was but one of the wooing techniques I experienced. Also, his desire to not take “no thank you” and “I’ve just got out of a long-term relationship” for answers was very awkward indeed, especially on a heaving bus with passengers eavesdropping. He felt the need to tell me about his past girlfriend called Natalie whom he wished to carry on ‘knowing’ via me. I’ve never been so glad to get to a morning lecture…


Another gem was back in York when a gentleman attempted to get my attention at the bar with “oi, you, yeah you! Oi!”. He introduced himself as “Danger” Dan and tried to impress me with an expensive bottle of champagne. I however was drinking tap water so his efforts were wasted. After 15 minutes of not letting me leave and giving me what I think was a ‘seductive’ stare – it was more like an attempt to suck my brain out with his eyeballs – I managed to flee. “Danger” Dan’s ending line was “come on, live a little. You have no idea what you’re in for…” He kept wide eyed eye-contact with me as he slowly walked away. Shortly after I accepted a lift home from my friend.


Even with these hilariously horrible experiences I’ve had some nice meet-and-greets. Coffee, book, vintage shops and even train stations seem to have friendly people in them but I’ve never felt inclined to say “yes, I’d love to get to know you”. I’m always suspicious that they’re part of a mugging gang and they’re the distraction for the main bag-stealing perpetrator. The notion of “strangers are out to mug and kill you” is from my mother. She’s a hilariously protective soul.


As you can tell I have a lot to learn. From my current experience so far with a seems-to-be nice guy it’s not too complicated; it’s just scary. I’ve found that me being scared weirds him out and in-turn weirds me out. Jesus, I feel just as clueless as I did back in high school. You’d have thought that I’d have some social skills after 5 years of seeing guys?