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Single Girl Chronicles: CRB check on love

Terms & conditions

By consenting with FRB, you have denied any privacy from this point. Every inch of your love life will be assessed and discovered.  Anything you withheld from us will be held against you.  We may request previous love references (one night stands, ex-girlfriends, wives etc).  You hereby now (and in the near future) tell nothing but the truth to FRB or your account will be suspended.


You see it is as simple as that.  An FRB check assesses and determines outcomes for like minded individuals.  What is FRB you ask?  It stands for Future Relationships Bureau.  Yes, almost similar to a CRB check that is needed from employers.  But a CRB check would determine the outcome of potential relationships and decrease the rising figures in separating and divorced couples.


Like my previous post, I realised if I wanted to find Mr Right it would have to be something that could outsmart ‘Internet dating’.   As Mrs Right, the only thing I know to be is Right.  So I made a list of qualities I wanted and did not want in a potential partner.  I began to think ‘Broad shoulders, tall, toned good-looking, facial hair, deep voice (my list did eventually go beyond physical attributes at some point).  If only it was that easy, that woman across the globe could find everything they wanted simply through a productive and reliable service.  If only finding a service was that simple, (match.com does not count) a service that nip-picked at every fine detail and could leave couples across the globe in simple bliss.  Hmm sounds like a job for a woman don’t you think?


It would be the FRB service, run by woman and determined to sift out the dogs from the men.  This service would be highly skilled at finding your potential partner with searchable history of men’s past relationship.  In addition the FRB service will offer a ‘Potential children outcome’, for all those bubbling questions; will she get my eyes?  Will he get his father’s smile, ears?  This service would help those women who are obsessed about their children getting the right genes (not jeans).


Okay it does sound intrusive but wouldn’t you like to know the man you can’t take your eyes off, who has all the qualities you ever dreamt in a man and possibly would like to have children with; only to be disappointed that your children ( a few years later) come out looking like a blowfish.  Then you ask yourself what went wrong? Is it me?  No hun, believe it or not it could have possibly been him.


You see woman are now very career focused and it can be hard to find a love life if we’re trying to climb the career ladder.  So think of us as your agony aunt (or angel) we do all the hard-work for you at FRB.  Potential relationships will be shifted into various categories at your discretion ‘Consider’, ‘maybe’ and ‘no chance’.  It is free to browse our service and see our superb results and couple testimonies but we will charge a fee to men that join the service. Once again we are working in the woman’s favour.


But honestly this could never happen, nobody can predict the future (not even mystic Meg- bet she didn’t predict she wouldn’t be here in the future).  It is the unknowing, when you first meet somebody that makes the start of something new extra special.


So it’s back to the drawing board to come up with some more inventive ideas.  When it comes to choosing a partner would you consider yourself picky?  What attributes must he or she have, before it becomes a no-go area, a deal breaker?


Let us know.

 

Nicole Harry – Aug 11th 2010



3 Comments

  1. I ran accross this blog and liked it!
    Keep up the nice work

  2. Shanice - Elaine says:

    This piece was very inventive not to mention humorus! I enjoyed her last post ‘finding Mr Right’. Keep these ‘single girl chronicle’ posts coming…lovescene you have a brilliant writer on your hands!

  3. Elise says:

    “But honestly this could never happen, nobody can predict the future (not even mystic Meg- bet she didn’t predict she wouldn’t be here in the future). It is the unknowing, when you first meet somebody that makes the start of something new extra special..” lol talk about hitting the nail on the head – very inventive writing. Ive shared this with others!!

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