When moving on from a relationship I’m a firm believer in the concept of ‘out of sight out of mind’. However, in this day and age with social media, networking sites and messenger applications steering clear of an ex is not as simple as avoiding his local. Getting through the day can be hard enough when dealing with a break up but advances in modern technology have left us vulnerable to new ways of getting hurt.
Social media is a minefield for someone mending a broken heart, contacting people or finding out what someone is up to is so accessable and you might end up saying words you regret or seeing something you wish you hadn’t. This delightful modern convenience was experienced by a friend of mine just the other day when pictures of her partying ex appeared on an online stream, which for her and her emotions was a big inconvenience.
This brought up the big question – when should you ‘delete’ an ex? In real life when you break up with someone it’s fair to say, for the time being, you are no longer friends. However, ‘unfriending’ an ex on a social networking site can be viewed as petty and weak. There seems to be a whole different set of rules for how we break up with and get over someone online and a kind of social-media etiquette takes presidence to our own feelings.
Men seem to take huge offence if you remove them off your ‘friends’ lists, even the ones who broke up with you take it as a blow to their male pride and can be left confused as to why constantly checking and commenting on their statuses won’t be your favourite hobby anymore. I was recently subjected to a telling-off from a guy who I had deleted off BB Messenger after he decided to call it a day on our seeing each other.
The fact that I was seeing him on there every day, with his constant status updates and the temptation to message him when not in sound mind, wasn’t helping me move on. I can’t help but wonder why men wouldn’t want to get rid of us themselves from their cyber world, do they not struggle with the headache inducing debate of ‘surely one little message wont hurt’?…and you’re right back at square one.
Online behaviour appears to confirm fundamental differences in how men and women handle break ups and maybe we can use this information to help us mend our hearts quicker. I’ll be following up this article revealing answers to those big questions with insight from different men and hopefully uncovering some golden rules to help women hold their Facebook heads high and keep on tweeting.