THE SINGLE BED: Human Mirrors

I lasted a week on eHarmony, (un)fortunately a friend took the time to point out the other day that I am not particularly loveable. The judgement would have stung less if it had not taken me three years to think that maybe I was actually OK after all. Apparently you can make one too many mistakes, or in my case one too many dozen.

Judgment is a divorced woman’s worst fear (well above plane crashes,) and it has the ability to bring her crashing down to earth with greater speed than any engine…it also leaves her in far more pieces. On the plus side, am now tossing up how to best spend the money I have saved on the website’s account fees…it’s a toss up between vodka and rum.

I realised it doesn’t matter how good your profile photo is, or how witty you can be: if your friends don’t think much of you, then you are probably wasting your time. You are also probably wasting a lot of money on makeup, as it isn’t really covering up what you want it to. This abandonment of hope will be a relief to my SkyBox; as it must have been fearful that I would actually find something else to do with my time. My mac didn’t blink an eyelid, as it knows that it will still come to bed with me whether I am alone or not.

Anyway, it is back to plan A – which involves me just letting my ovaries club me to death from the inside…the vodka should slow their blows.


Sally Beerworth