Ticking the Boxes

Married with childrenAfter hearing about a survey which recommended that the ideal age to become a first time mother was around 28, I started thinking about how people can say there is an “average” time in your life to do anything. If I had followed this ideal I would have been married before 25, and going on what happened in that relationship divorced a few years later. Add being a parent to the equation and that could also have meant being a single mother too. So how important is it to take notice of such statistics?


These suggestions might be based upon scientific and social research, but unfortunately for the scientists there are factors which don’t always fit neatly into the equation. When you meet someone that you like, how ready both of you are for commitment as well as career progression and other goals are all things that vary depending on how different people feel. Becoming a mother at eighteen might be perfect timing for one person, yet equal complete disaster for someone else. When so many factors can vary according to each of us individually, why do some people feel the need to make us think we have to tick off certain achievements by a certain age?


Personally I think it’s down to you when you feel ready for those major life goals, and that it’s not fair to expect everyone to fit into the same patterns and timescales. With so many things out of our control, maybe it’s better to focus on what we want to achieve personally and not just ticking the boxes.


1 Comment

  1. Sass says:

    Great article Amanda.

    I had two children and a husband by the time I was 28 so I definately haven’t ticked the average box either. I think its another stress to add to an already stressful world. Like you say – everyone is different and what is ideal for one person is not ideal for another.