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Vanishing Act

News Flash!  Men are disappearing. Like a plot line from Lost perfectly articulate, mobile wielding, banter engaging boys seem to be vanishing. There appears to be no pattern to this mystery leaving police baffled.

The phenomenon first came to my attention roughly two years ago. After many Facebook messages, a seemingly sizzling connection and several flirty texts a real life meeting was set. All too soon date day was upon us. But what of my date? Well, the previous day all lines of communication had become barren, what were excited glances to my mobile rapidly developed into repetitive strain injury. My potential beau had died (not literally but metaphorically, although…?) I never heard from him again, ever! This would be enough to shake any girl’s confidence, but at least I could console myself with the fact we had never met. It couldn’t possibly be about me, he must have been unable to commit, a spy, deported. However this safety net has not been present for several friends. Perfectly good first and at times second dates have been concluded with being jilted at the next. No ‘sorry it’s me’ or ‘yes MI6 have called’. Instead, silence, white noise filled only by internal self analysis. I don’t care how confident a person is, to be ditched in such a cowardly fashion is going to shake you, even if you only admit it to yourself. ‘What did I do?’, ‘What did I say?’, ‘Was it because he saw those photos on Facebook?’ all responses that have tripped from the lips of confident, intelligent and beautiful women. This is not to say that there haven’t been a few girls taking the wimps way out. Turning off their phones and deleting friend status’s rather than fessing up. However I just don’t believe that the majority of guys take these knock backs quite as personally as their female counterparts. In fact we could learn from their confidence, they are quick to flip the situation. Whether true or delusional most men will lay the issue with the offender not themselves.

But why do boys do this? I do believe there was an episode of SATC where Carrie was unceremoniously dumped via the medium of the post it. When challenged about their inability for face to face communication, the male excuse? ‘Girls can be scary’.  Well, duh! Actions like that would push the Dalai Lama over the edge.  I mean, seriously, how rude. If you aren’t into us then have the decency to say. T o leave someone hanging smacks of ego and arrogance. You can’t be bothered, it was a mistake, maybe your real identity has been revealed. Whatever the reason it would be better said than left to the imagination.

That’s how lines get blurred and wires tangled. Men are from Mars and women Venus. I’m not saying she will take it with a smile and a thank you, let’s be realistic here, nobody wants to hear that they are not wanted, whatever the reason. However, polite honesty will help the other person get over the situation quicker and prevent their brains exploding from the sheer weight of the whys. In essence people it’s just about manners and as Aretha would say a little r.e.s.p.e.c.t.



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