SATC – the ultimate relationship manual

Sex_and_the_City_The_MovieI’m distracting myself from my collapsed world by watching SATC 2 – the movie.  Despite the stereotypes of the Middle East and the underdevelopment of Samantha and Miranda’s characters, it’s not a bad film.  A disappointment in the cinema after waiting for it excitedly, but a nice dash of colourful escapism to push back the grey fog, albeit temporarily.  Beautiful location, fabulous shoes, gorgeous flowing Arabian Princess maxidresses….. ah.  If only I had a sheikh to give me an all-expenses-paid trip there.  And Samantha’s Middle East meltdown is pretty funny.  But I digress.

It may have been said before, but I’ll add my voice to the chorus – SATC has been such an iconic part of growing up in my generation.  Girls used it to learn how to be women, guys used it to learn what women really want (and some sex tips) – and it was a fabulous recurring trip to a seductively alluring city.  Most of us feel we have been to New York from its frequent use as a film and tv set.  Moving on swiftly from the fact that my ex and I had planned to go there one Christmas, it seems to be a pretty great city with incredible pull.  Not without its downfalls, grime, crime, and general slime, but definitely the coolest city in the world.

So many of us aspire to be Carrie.  Fabulous shoes, great couture and making a comfortable living through sharing her dating experiences – turning your pain into your paycheck seems pretty wise to me.  And I’m sure she, like the rest of us, found it pretty therapeutic.   One of the biggest things I love about writing is how you can connect and communicate with someone; feel that shared sense of experience and relating to what they have gone through – whether good or bad. It’s a good way to structure and focus your thoughts and emotions, to realise things and learn from mistakes.  Coupled-up girlfriends of mine have told me they enjoy living vicariously through me and my dating escapades.  Dating disasters were a goldmine for writing material, but my ex wasn’t.  I’m focusing on how I feel, not slagging him off, and trying to come to terms with this changed reality through writing.  Plus, it’s pretty great to be able to inspire women to stand up and say “hey, me too”.  So much of the world is about keeping women down, but once one pops up and takes a stand, sisters will quickly rise up and have the confidence to make their voices heard.  I am woman, indeed.

The best thing about the show is that is serves as a damn good relationship manual.  Spot their mistakes, spot their successes, and learn how your partner – and yourself – should or shouldn’t be treated.  Below are some of the key lessons I have learnt from my love of the show:

  • Whatever rules you make, you both need to be totally happy with them
  • Have the confidence to speak out and be honest about how you feel
  • Don’t let a guy silence you – whether at work or at home
  • Your mistakes ARE your fate
  • It’s ok to mourn for your lost love
  • You can mourn for longer than 50% duration of the relationship
  • Don’t jump back on the horse until you know you are ready
  • Your sexual pleasure comes first
  • The 2 great loves theory may or may not be accurate (but I hope it isn’t)
  • Learn to love yourself
  • Your friends are your true soulmates

Now if I could only get Sunrise Sunset and Single Ladies out of my head, I might possibly be able to sleep tonight…